Shacking Up

December 23, 2002
Citing a 72% increase in the number of couples shacking up in just the past decade, and claiming, for many, it is a "new step in the mating process," freelance magazine writer Stacy Whitman, teaming up with her sister Wynne, a tax and estate attorney, offers a "new millennium relationship handbook" for 20- and 30-somethings. By turns humorously irreverent and practical, the authors combine a hip, insider writing style with extensive interviews of couples who've lived together, expert advice from psychologists, social scientists, financial planners, and loads of Cosmo-style quizzes and advice boxes, allowing readers to assess their individual situation. Topics range from the momentous (breaking the news to your parents, how to tell if you're ready to tie the knot, and compiling joint purchase agreements) to the truly lighthearted (getting your boyfriend to ditch the wagon-wheel coffee-table, and taking matters, literally, into your "own hands" when your boyfriend can't sexually satisfy you). While admittedly targeted to the heterosexual, childless woman, this book will be useful for anyone else ready for the fantasy to end, and reality to begin. (Mar.)Forecast:The cover is appealing in a
Cosmo magazine way. Although the publishers target their audience at 20–40, more realistically, the book will catch the eyes of those between 18 and 32.

December 1, 2002
Although these books examine the ins and outs of cohabitation from different viewpoints, they do agree on some basics: cohabitation is on the rise (there are 11 million cohabitors in this country today, claim Solot and Miller), and six out of ten couples live together before marriage (claim the Whitmans). Strangely enough, not many self-help manuals on the subject exist. Founders of the Alternatives to Marriage Project, Solot and Miller are a committed unmarried couple, and their book reflects this perspective. Although they acknowledge that many couples live together as a step before marriage, they are most concerned with couples who are planning to live together instead of getting married. They cover topics such as reasons why couples would decide not to get married, how unmarried couples can legally protect themselves, and how to agitate for acceptance of unmarried lifestyles. Stacy Whitman, a journalist currently living with her fianc, and her sister, lawyer Wynne Whitman, have a different focus. While they recognize that some couples might decide to live together ad infinitum, their advice pertains to couples for whom the wedding bells will eventually toll. They address many of the same areas as Solot and Miller, such as legal protection and how to deal with negative reactions from family and friends, but they also include advice on what to do if one member is not willing to tie the knot. Given the dearth of books on cohabitation, either of these would make great additions to public libraries. Also consider Ralph Warner and others' Living Together: A Legal Guide for Unmarried Couples, endorsed by the authors here.-Pam Matthews, M.L.S., Olmsted Falls, OH