How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend

May 9, 2011
In this quirky, hyperkinetic debut, French author Ghislain combines action and absurdity to excellent effect. Fourteen-year-old David is used to his therapist father working with odd patients, but this one takes the cake. Zelda claims to be a warrior woman from the planet Vahalal, on Earth to find her chosen mate: Johnny Depp. With David as her much bewildered guide, she travels from David's village in Normandy to Paris, where she only has hours to succeed before her path home vanishes forever. With the aid of David's unpredictable kinda-stepsister, Malou, they try to track down Depp, running afoul of other Vahalalians, those who never made it home and will do anything to end their time on Earth by completing Zelda's mission ("Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, Robert freaking Pattinson! I don't care. We will abduct every single Hollywood stud if it will bring us back to Vahalal"). With violent alien superwomen, the authorities, and his family in hot pursuit, David is having the weirdest time of his life. Short but sweet, this improbably entertaining adventure feels like a Daniel Pinkwater treatment for an early John Cusack film. Ages 12âup.

May 1, 2011

Fourteen-year-old David Gershwin, who's waiting for another growth spurt, is used to troubled teens staying at his famous therapist dad's home in Normandy, France, but one in particular captures his attention: Zelda, a girl of Amazonian stature who claims to be from the planet Vahalal (where men are forbidden) and who's looking for her "chosen one." By Zook, this potential mate just happens to be Johnny Depp.

David's over-the-top humorous narration drives this slim, fast-paced debut, which is reminiscent of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe. When he discovers that Zelda has secretly followed him to Paris, where his chain-smoking, designer-clothes–devotee mother lives, he vows to serve Zelda as her "Pudin" (comically confused as "pudding") and enlists the help of his older quasi-stepsister Malou, whose playful banter often borders on flirtation. As they outrun police on the rooftops of Paris and spar with exile Valks on their zany pursuit, David experiences "gustative biochemistry" (a.k.a. his first kiss)—and more. Surrounded by so many tough females, he can't help but finally muster some self-confidence, while no-nonsense, kickass Zelda, who claims that love is a sin on her planet, may be giving in to their "Earthling display of affection (EDA)" and re-evaluating her real chosen one.

With the end always in sight, readers know from the get-go that this cosmic romance will be one wild ride. (Science fiction. 13 & up)

(COPYRIGHT (2011) KIRKUS REVIEWS/NIELSEN BUSINESS MEDIA, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.)

July 1, 2011

Gr 9 Up-With a decidedly European sensibility, this French import takes readers on a madcap, quirky adventure with nerdy 14-year-old David Gershwin, who quickly falls for Zelda, a hard-case patient in his father's therapy practice. Zelda appears to be suffering from the delusion that she is a warrior from the alien planet Vahalal and must meet with her "chosen one," Johnny Depp, in order to save her Amazonian race from extinction. Beautiful and feral, Zelda has an emotionally stiff manner and brash, violent behavior; even her wardrobe of designer bathing suits seems to come straight from 1930s sci-fi serials. David uses his life's savings to bribe his (sort of) stepsister, sophisticated urbanite Malou, into taking them on a boozy road trip to gate-crash a Parisian party where Depp is rumored to be going. What Zelda doesn't count on is developing feelings for David before she has a chance to meet up with her on-screen idol. The already-strange novel takes a turn toward the surreal at the end. An interesting debut, shorter and more accessible than Libba Bray's Going Bovine (Delacorte, 2009), this novel should appeal to mature YA readers looking for short, humorous, action-packed science fiction.-Madigan McGillicuddy, Atlanta-Fulton Public Library, GA

Copyright 2011 School Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

June 1, 2011
Grades 8-11 Fourteen-year-old David doesn't know whether to believe exotic Zelda when she says she is on a mission from the planet Vahalal, but she is gorgeous and kicks serious butt when she is thwarted in her attempts to get to her soul mate, Johnny Depp. Maybe if David helps her with her quest, he can turn her attentions his way. Set in France, this is truly a book for male adolescents, complete with a pajama-garbed hero bewitched by a bikini-wearing alien (who is either a teen herself or 325 years old, depending on whether you believe her). There are glimpses of bare bazongas and run-ins with the law, and the only way Zelda can return to her planet is to have sex with her chosen one. Our hero does lose his virginity, but it occurs offstage and is not sensationalized. Junior-high boys will pass this book around in the same way their great-grandfathers shared the infamous National Geographic photos of the 1950s; the same sense of bawdy innocence is on display here.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2011, American Library Association.)