When My Heart Was Wicked

December 8, 2014
Is Lacy Fin a witch or not? Midway through her junior year of high school, this question isn’t on her radar. Her father has just died, and she is bracing to return to school under the gentle aegis of her stepmother, Anna. No sooner does Lacy negotiate the potential land mines of a first day back than Cheyenne, her birth mother, reappears three years after abandoning Lacy, demanding custody again. Memories quickly resurface—of strange “dreams,” spell-casting, confusion, and suffering. Fearing the rage and hate that marked her earlier life, Lacy tries to make space for “the light” she learned from her stepmother, but Cheyenne’s erratic, domineering behavior leaves Lacy questioning everything. Compact and intense, it’s a bravura examination of neglect, abuse, and survival, though first-time novelist Stirling struggles to resolve the “and then she woke up” moment. The shift in register is softened by her choice to forgo a conventional plot arc, and even if the ending is slightly off-key, the accomplishment of the story as a whole is impressive. Ages 14–up. Agent: Molly Ker Hawn, Bent Agency.

November 15, 2014
A mix of the mundane and the magical permeates this slender portrait of a girl in pain. After a childhood bouncing between her mother, possibly a witch and probably unstable, and her father, whose presence made it possible for Lacy to see magic and beauty everywhere, Lacy's mother, Cheyenne, disappeared. Her mother's influence gone, Lacy's darkness blossomed into light and kindness. But her father has died, and although stepmother Anna wants to keep her, Cheyenne returns to drag Lacy back to Sacramento. Lacy narrates in lush, almost magical prose: "Smoke billows out and bits of glowing ember consume the creases of the paper like growing things, red mushrooms in a sped-up video." This lyricism exists side by side with gritty realism: slut-shaming and mean girls, childhood abuse suffered by classmate Martin, and the nonstop emotional and physical neglect and abuse Lacy endures from her own mother. Sometimes horrifying and sometimes charming, this is a powerful if uneven novel. Lacy sees herself as a battleground between light and dark, and she must find her own way even as she deals with levels of grief and pain she's almost unable to face; readers may be left uncomfortable when that way seems to forgive her mother, but they will rejoice in the confirmation that we are what we make ourselves, regardless of the darkness that surrounds. Unexpected, uncanny, unforgettable. (Magical realism. 14 & up)

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November 1, 2014

Gr 9 Up-Debut novelist Stirling has written a delightfully dark and twisty story for those who never quite outgrew fairy tales. Removed from the custody of her abusive, dysfunctional mother when she was 13 years old, Lacy has spent the past three years with her loving father and free-spirited stepmother. But following the death of her father to prostate cancer, her mother, Cheyenne, insists that Lacy leaves her stepmother's home in Chico and moves to Sacramento with her. Adding to the stress of going to a new school and making new friends, Lacy grows increasingly aware that something is very wrong with her mother and that she, herself, is being pulled into darkness. This enigmatic novel will keep readers guessing from the first page to the last. Are there supernatural forces at work or is Cheyenne delusional and psychotic? Does Lacy have the ability to cause the accident that put her would-be seducer in the hospital or was he just drinking too much that night? Was Lacy's heartlessness actual or metaphysical? No clear answers will frustrate and delight readers. Stirling is an author to watch.-Jane Henriksen Baird, Anchorage Public Library, AK

Copyright 2014 School Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

January 1, 2015
Grades 8-11 Witchy, contemporary magical realism for teens always owes a debt to Francesca Lia Block. Stirling's debut, with its often poetic language and at times disturbing theme, certainly does. At the heart of the book is a mother-daughter struggle for power and dominance. After Lacy's father dies, her mother, Cheyennegone for more than two yearsreappears to demand Lacy live with her. Cheyenne, not a likable person, is known for her dark spells and potions. Still, the bond between the two is strong, and soon Lacy finds herself again becoming a black-clad, troubled teen. Whether she will yield to her mother's desire to make her into a cold, bloodless version of herself or whether she will bind herself to memories of her father is the central dilemma. Stirling does a wonderful job of making the reader care for Lacy, who is not beyond casting spells herself. Her Northern California world of idiosyncratic personalities and oddball beauty is memorable and will be sure to appeal to teens who like their realism tempered with the otherworldly.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2015, American Library Association.)