Before I Die

Starred review from August 6, 2007
The eloquent dying teen can seem a staple of the YA novel, but this British debut completely breaks the mold.Downham holds nothing back in her wrenching and exceptionally vibrant story about a 16-year-old girl with leukemia determined to do 10 things before her imminent death (have sex, commit a crime, fall in love); although her rage feels palpable, she has decided to spend her remaining time living instead of dying. The chronicling of Tessa's slow decline has the immediacy of an audio journal—painful, honest first-person descriptions almost trap the audience inside Tessa's head. She alternates erratically but realistically between emotions, and the effect is staggering. One scene, for example, begins with Tessa's younger brother burying a dead bird, the boy next door helping him in an effort to impress Tessa: at first Tessa is touched, then “There's earth on my head. I'm cold.... I try and focus on good things, but it's so hard to scramble out.” Although the internal monologues wield undeniable power, some of the most dramatic scenes in the book involve Tessa's friends and familyher father's efforts to remain strong despite grief; her boyfriend's love for her; her younger brother's inability to grasp the gravity of his sister's condition (after a fight he hisses, “I hope you die while I'm at school! And I hope it bloody hurts”). Downham's writing is shockingly straightforward, and she cushions nothing for readers. In laying out so bald a story she evokes an extraordinary range of emotions, exorcised in a fiercely cathartic ending. Ages 14-up.

November 1, 2007
Gr 9 Up-While other 16-year-olds are thinking about getting their driver's license or who will ask them to the school dance, terminally ill Tessa is busy making a list of 10 things she wants to do before she dies. As Tessa begins to tackle her list, she learns a great deal about those around her and even more about who she is and what she wants from the life she has left. The issue of dealing with a serious illness and how it affects everyone involved, from family and friends to visiting nurses, is deftly handled and rings true. Unfortunately, much of the rest of the story does not feel as authentic, including the romance between Tessa and her neighbor, Adam, which does not begin evolving until more than halfway through the book and seems like an unnecessary afterthought. On top of that, the author piles on a teen pregnancy (Tessa's best friend) and Adam's mother's depression. The manipulation of readers' emotions is obvious as the author goes from one sobbing moment to the next, but fans of Lurlene McDaniel's books are sure to overlook these flaws."Shari Fesko, Southfield Public Library, MI"

Copyright 2007 School Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

Starred review from November 15, 2007
Four years after being diagnosed with leukemia, British teenager Tessa, 16, knows she has almost no time left. I want to live before I die, she says, rushing to pack in the things on her to-do list, including sex, drugs, breaking the law, driving, bringing her parents back together, and fame (sort of). On the list as well is being in love with her neighbor, Adam, with whom she has great sex, almost to the end. The details of the stages of grief (anger, denial, depression, etc.) sometimes go on too long, but each character is distinctive: Happy-go-lucky-friend Zoe, whom Tessa helps convince not to have an abortion; Tessas father, so protective, he smothers her until he sees that Adam makes her happy; Adam, who will go off to college without her; little brother Cal, whom Tessa sublety teaches about courage, laughter, and love. The clear, beautiful prose brings out all the elemental emotionsespecially Tessas anger and frustration at being stuck in bed while others get on with their livesand the passionate present-tense narrative will draw readers deeply into story and make them wonder, What if it was me?(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2007, American Library Association.)