I Love You. Now What?

November 5, 2007
Psychotherapist Iam (Sex and the Perfect Lover
) claims to know not only how to ignite the flame of love, but how to keep it burning forever; marriage, she says, should not get in the way of passion. She views love and sex as spiritually bound, and each is the focus of one of the book's two parts, which elaborate on three main points: know what you want in a partner and in a relationship, and then be open to the right person. Iam seems to be writing for the truly relationship-impaired (she explains the difference in meaning of a kiss on the check and one on the lips); her lists of tips can be intimidatingly long (18 bullet points on how to become aware of your relationship blocks); and her advice is sometimes surprisingly unromantic (declare your love in an Internet chat room?). In part two, she supplies a gamut of information, from a recipe for sex truffles to the eight perfect positions for anal sex. In between, Iam offers tips on playing erotic card games, igniting a desire for oral sex, how to give a partner two erections and ejaculations in 20 minutes and discover a woman's G spot. Iam avoids the mistake of oversimplifying her subject, but she might be overcomplicating her advice.