Boyfriend 101

May 12, 2003
Professional counselor Sullivan supplements his breezy advice with anecdotes from his clients to coach gay readers looking for Mr. Right. As the"101" title implies, this is a beginner's guide with Sullivan starting at the ground level ("What is a date?"). His baby-steps approach covers potential opening lines for small talk with strangers; a three-page list of qualities to help narrow the focus of what your Mr. Right needs to possess; and locations for running into eligible men. Sullivan's banal scripted"one-minute encounters" should encourage even the most tongue-tied that it doesn't take clever observations to open a conversation. Some of Sullivan's advice seems so rudimentary that it seems designed for shut-ins rather than someone new to gay dating. One of the things not to say on a first date is"My father was a drunk," while Sullivan says men like to hear"Your butt is awesome,""I'm so proud of you" and"You make fabulous coffee." Sullivan's advice is more constructive when dealing with relationships: dating someone with a different HIV status; integrating your"inner teenager"; working through internalized homophobia; and suggested communication strategies for couples. The book ends with a useful resource guide that lists online matchmaking services, gay organization links and reference directories.

May 15, 2003
"Dating is not rocket science," writes first-time author Sullivan, a self-described dating and relationship coach, "[but] a skill that can be taught." This encouraging, goal-oriented guidebook to interpersonal interactions will help men take advantage of their strengths, find suitable (and cute) mates, have safer sex, and achieve diversity. Sullivan combines practical advice-"Be conscious and careful of whom you have sex with, and of the emotional consequences"-with upbeat encouragement-"God gave you a brain: use it!" Readers will appreciate straightforward, by-the-numbers material (e.g., sample personal ads) that leaves room for creativity and personal flair. Much like Neil Kaminsky's Affirmative Gay Relationships, this is solid, instructive, and reasonably priced, though at times overly dependent on anecdotes to demonstrate points and provide advice. Either book is fine for most libraries.

Copyright 2003 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.