The Buddha's Wife

May 11, 2015
Connection with others as a spiritual path is explored by Surrey­—a clinical psychologist, Buddhist dharma leader, and writer—and Shem, a physician and writer (The House of God). Troubled by an aspect of the Buddha’s famous origin story, in which the prince Siddhartha leaves his wife, Yasodhara, and newborn son without saying goodbye, the authors use an “imagined re-creation” of the abandoned woman’s search for healing within relationships to illuminate the “Path of She Who Stays” in contemporary life. After narrating the tale of Yasodhara’s survival and spiritual growth in the company of others, Surrey and Shem draw on Jean Baker Miller’s relational-cultural theory dealing with the importance of relationships, Zen peace activist Thich Nhat Hanh’s concept of interbeing, and other sources to investigate the power of connection to heal individuals and, perhaps, a suffering world. Focusing on circles—groups of connected people or things—they address spiritual friendships, parenting, couple communication, 12-step groups, care of the dying, peacemaking, and other topics, calling on all to become “relational and spiritual activists.” Extensive practices are included. Yasodhara’s story, in the authors’ capable hands, proves to be a somewhat didactic but effective strategy to pull together many strands of the relational path and inspire readers to further exploration.