We Don't Talk Anymore

Starred review from September 18, 2017
Centered on the idea that the only person whose “perceptions, attitudes, and behaviors” you can change are your own, this practical guidebook goes through the most common conflicts between older parents and their adult children and offers the perspective of each side. Family therapist McCoy (The Teenage Body Book) goes through top stressors—such as culture clashes, “gray” (late in life) divorce, money, and sexuality—that cause breaks in familial relationships and explains the usual thought processes behind each side’s responses to these stressors, all in a format that will make it easy for readers to turn right to what they need most. McCoy condemns entitled behaviors that cause intergenerational anger and estrangement, such as millennials moving home without showing they intend to pursue their goals, with gentle firmness. She provides clear steps for both parents and children to stop cycles of blame, take responsibility, and learn to live with difference. This book is a great starting place for readers hoping to let go of long-term resentments and improve communication with estranged family members. Agent: Stephany Evans, Ayesha Pande Literary.