Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be A-holes

May 3, 2021
Baby Sideburns blogger Alpert (I Want My Epidural Back) stays on brand with this foul-mouthed, hilarious guide to shepherding kids from being “douchenuggets” to well-adjusted young adults. Alpert’s discussion of her parenting approach hinges on balance: it’s okay to get angry, she writes, so long as there are also moments of kindness that kids will “remember forever.” She maintains that for the most part, parents naturally know what the outcomes of poor parenting choices will be (the “No Shit Sherlock” approach), and should follow their instincts. She covers such topics as bullies (taking a “kill them with kindness” approach), fostering creativity (embrace mess), and sports (knowing how to lose is key), and slips in touching moments without giving up her lighthearted tone (a story of watching her daughter’s resilience after a fall in an ice-skating performance is especially moving). While Alpert doesn’t bring in experts to back up her approach and can’t show success in her own seven and nine year olds’ path to adulthood, her plea that parents trust themselves is refreshing. Readers with young kids will find affirmation and camaraderie in Alpert’s humorous and entertaining takes. Agent: Rachel Sussman, Chalberg & Sussman.