Raising Human Beings

Starred review from June 20, 2016
In this inspirational book about raising children, child psychologist Greene (Lost and Found) explores mutually beneficial problem-solving. Historically, society’s approach for raising kids has been what Greene calls plan A: unilaterally imposing solutions. What Greene explains, however, is that plan A is a surefire way of misunderstanding the root of issues and cutting off communication. (Those who complain that their children don’t talk to them anymore, take heed!) Greene introduces the main focus of this book, what he calls plan B, with the premise that all people—including kids—want to do well and will do well if able. When a child is having difficulty, there is a root problem getting in the way of that desire to do well. Poor behavior is the reaction to the problem—a warning sign. Plan B actively uses three steps (empathy, define adult concerns, and invitation) to establish understanding and work in partnership to come up with solutions that address every party’s concerns. This book is a game-changer for parents, teachers, and other caregivers of children. Its advice is reasonable and empathetic, and readers will feel ready to start creating a better relationship with the children in their lives.