Unworthy

May 26, 2014
Rufus (Stuck) provides a practical, if heartbreaking, roadmap for those who loathe themselves, offering advice on how to break the cycle while explaining the myriad reasons why the cycle begins in the first place. The book is especially gripping in that Rufus lays her own soul bare throughout, revealing herself as a charter member of the hating-yourself-club and sharing her dysfunctional relationship with her mother. With an empathetic voice, she leads her fellow travelers down the path to recovery; reframing personality flaws as coping mechanisms and past suffering as lessons. Rufus examines common self-esteem trapsâincluding undeserved loyalty and regretâand shows how to mentally disable these bombs. She offers healing strategiesâsuch as considering what makes you happy and realizing that the cruel dictator in your head is wrongâand is realistic in underlining that said healing will take time and effort. Rufus also takes a look at potential upsides of having spent years with low self-esteem, and closes with a moving "benediction": Always With You,/ All Forgiven,/ All Days New Days,/ Safe With Me. This book should be required reading for anyone suffering from low self-esteem, and while it will likely cause readers to tear up repeatedly, the empathy and grounded advice is sure to help inspire healing.

Starred review from August 1, 2014

Rufus (Stuck; Party of One) sees self-loathing as an epidemic. After suffering for almost 40 years from low self-esteem herself, the author decided to research not only the causes but the societal, historical, and biological factors that tend to make certain people uncomfortable in their own skins. A rather compelling read, the text details the "personality flaws" of the inability to choose, the need to apologize, and the difficulty in saying no. Rufus does more than just detail the problem, she describes the upside of low self-esteem (yes, there is one) and a variety of healing strategies that the reader might try. VERDICT An essential title on the topic of low self-esteem.

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