30 Lessons for Living

September 26, 2011
As he dispenses concrete, practical advice on how to make the most of our lives, Cornell gerontologist Pillemer turns for answers to our elders—those he believes are the experts, with the enormous advantage of life experience, whose limits have been tested by illness, danger, failure, oppression, and loss. His approximately 1,000 Americans age 65 and older from around the country and many walks of life share personal memories to explain what is important for a long, happy marriage: for instance, marrying someone a lot like yourself, trying to give more than you want to get out of the relationship, and learning how to fight are key. The seniors agree that you shouldn’t choose a career based only on potential earnings; that you should do everything necessary to avoid a permanent rift with a child, even if it requires compromise on a parent’s part; travel while you can, even if it means making financial sacrifices; and view aging as a quest and tidy up the loose ends of life before you go. Giving familiar advice a new spin by mining the rich resource of older Americans, Pillemer offers a refreshing, smart wakeup call about getting your priorities straight and living right.

Starred review from November 15, 2011

Who better to teach lessons on living, asks Pillemer (human ecology, Cornell Univ.; director, Cornell Inst. for Translational Research on Aging), than the thousands of Americans over the age of 65 who have successfully navigated the territories of marriage, career, money, and aging? By conducting innumerable interviews, Pillemer found that their advice upends contemporary wisdom: they suggest marrying a person like oneself, choosing a career for intrinsic rewards, and spending more time with one's children. The author skillfully weaves a prevailing theme (e.g., parenting, aging fearlessly) with self-disclosing statements from interviewees to create a compelling, inspirational book. One of the best of its kind.

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