Gaslighting

August 13, 2018
Psychologist and mediator Sarkis, who blogs for Psychology Today, provides an extensive typology of the “gaslighter,” who manipulates others into doubting their grip on reality. Gaslighters, according to Sarkis, are prone to, among other things, initially “love-bombing” others and then dodging commitment, eschewing personal responsibility, and harassment. She provides a great deal of practical information on how to deal with one in a variety of relationships (a spouse, a boss, a friend). She even has a chapter on what to do when one suspects oneself to be a gaslighter, though given this group’s un-self-reflective nature, they would seem an unlikely audience for this book. If Sarkis has a weakness, it is for extreme cases; she sometimes seems to conflate the gaslighter with the psychopath, as when stating that the former might be prone to swindling or otherwise conning others and that they “will focus on stealing your spouse.” She can also be self-congratulatory on her book’s practical benefit for readers (“You’ll learn much from this chapter that can help you put your own behavior into context”). Aside from those flaws, this is a succinct, useful self-help guide to responding to an all-too-common but underdiscussed personality type.

October 1, 2018

Licensed mental health counselor Sarkis (Natural Relief for Adult ADHD; Making the Grade with ADD) introduces the little-researched phenomenon of gaslighting, manipulating someone by psychological means into questioning their own sanity. This behavior can be found in politics, the boardroom, and personal relationships. Gaslighters are usually quite charming but also master controllers who use specific techniques (e.g., triangulating, expecting special treatment, etc.). Sarkis demonstrates how to avoid falling for a gaslighter, or getting free of one if caught in their game, with in-depth portraits of domestic abusers and false messiahs as well as family members who use others as scapegoats. VERDICT A fascinating and necessary study of rampant gaslighting and how to steer clear of being a victim.

Copyright 2018 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.