For Better

March 22, 2010
“Marriage today is stronger than it has been in decades,” writes Parker-Pope (The Hormone Decision
), author of the New York Times
's “Well” blog. Interviewing biologists, neuroscientists, psychologists, and sociologists, she explores the science that can explain why a marriage succeeds—examining such areas as monogamy, love, sex, children, money, and housework—and translates the science into practical advice. For instance, while monogamy is not the norm among animals, it's certainly possible for some animals and for humans to remain sexually and socially faithful to one partner. Further, regular sex should be part of a good marriage even if it occurs less frequently over time. As for conflict, learning how to fight fairly allows partners to air differences without damaging their relationship. Describing the unhappy end of her own marriage, she looks at those relationships at high risk for divorce, such as the pursuer-distancer marriage (with the pursuer usually the woman) and the operatic marriage (“characterized by dramatic highs and lows”). Although the scientific research adds depth, much of the relationship advice is familiar and commonsensical, but married couples will still benefit from this refresher course.

April 15, 2010
Parker-Pope, a science writer for the "New York Times" who was recently divorced, writes about the science of marriagewhat works, what doesn't, and what the popularly held myths are. One of her most striking arguments is that not everyone is getting divorced, and she ponders whether that knowledge alone would help keep couples together. With the aim of showing people how to examine and improve their marriage, she reports current research on how money, sex, health, chores, and various other factors affect marriage. Insights on human or animal conditions regardless of how they relate to marriage are engaging on their own, e.g., the sharing of good news or "monogamous" birds. Interestingly, Parker-Pope does not address the very real problems associated with second marriages and children (for that, see Wednesday Martin's "Stepmonster"). While it's not immediately clear that couples should read this book together, it does feature questionnaires that the reader and spouse can take to evaluate their own situation. VERDICT The apparent predictability of a successful marriage leaves one to wonder whether this will eventually lead to a "test" for marriage, like the blood tests still required in some states. Owing to the likely publicity, this is a good choice for public libraries. [See Prepub Alert, "LJ" 1/10.]Margaret Cardwell, Memphis, TN

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