Flash Count Diary

Starred review from May 6, 2019
Simultaneously contemplative and messily visceral, this extraordinary fugue on menopause, a book “situated at the crossroads between the metaphysical and the biological,” centers on the experience of the aging woman. Finding a kinship with killer whales, the only other species that experiences menopause and lives long past the reproductive years, novelist Steinke (Sister Golden Hair) begins with Lolita, the female whale who has been kept in a tiny pool at the Miami Seaquarium since the 1970s, and ends with a trip to Seattle to see Granny, a 104-year-old pod matriarch. In between, Steinke describes the discomfort, panic and isolation that can be caused by hot flashes, sleeplessness, and emotional and cognitive shifts; explores both the frustration and appeal of the cultural invisibility of older women; and considers what it means to develop a sexuality that does not focus on intercourse. She affirms menopause as part of what it means to be female and human, in contrast to the medical view of menopause as a pathology to be treated with hormone replacements and vaginal rejuvenation. Her ability to translate physical and emotional experiences into words will make menopausal readers feel profoundly seen and move others. (June)Correction: An earlier version of this review misstated the title of the book and incorrectly noted the location where Lolita the killer whale is located.

May 15, 2019
A keen exploration of menopause, which is "situated at the crossroads between the metaphysical and the biological." Like many women, when Steinke (Sister Golden Hair, 2014, etc.) reached her menopausal years, the change hit her hard. Hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, and depression were just some of her symptoms. Menopause, she writes, "is as much a spiritual challenge as it is a physical one." She struggled to find balance and turned to research and literature to help her comprehend the monumental changes taking place in her body. What she discovered both did and did not surprise her: Menopausal women are not favorably represented (think witches of olden days), and women and female killer whales are the only two (known) mammals to go through this type of life transformation. This information didn't resolve her physical symptoms, but it put her on a quest to find out more in hopes of gaining a better understanding of the process. "There are things I miss about my old self: the ferocity of physical desire, the sense of well-being (aside from the days before my period) that appears to have been in part hormonal, and the fantasy, no matter how ephemeral, that I might have another child," she writes. In this thoughtful, intriguing, and sometimes-humorous analysis, Steinke discusses the patriarchal attitudes inherent in society and the way young and sexually active, sexually desired women are the typical images projected as ideal. This led the author to investigate hormone replacement therapy and its effectiveness in the sex lives of older women. She compares women with female killer whales, who are often leaders of their respective pods, which gives rise to a host of questions: If these animals can respect and value their elder females, then why can't humans do the same? Throughout, the narrative is stimulating and challenges society to rethink how we view and treat older women. Provocative ideas and illuminating personal stories centered on the idea that "it is not menopause itself that is the problem but menopause as it's experienced under patriarchy."

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May 15, 2019
To be a menopausal woman is to be much maligned: witch, a word-that-rhymes-with-witch, ice queen, drama queen. It's true that a body undergoing what is euphemistically called the change is in a constant state of unpredictable flux. For novelist Steinke (Sister Golden Hair, 2014), hitting menopause is like hitting a demonic trifecta: blistering hot flashes, debilitating depression, decreasing sexuality. Society deems menopause as one of those conditions that is best borne stoically. In her quest to put her experiences with menopause into a broader context, Steinke discovered that human females and female killer whales are the only two species to endure this condition. Her pursuit of this kindred spirit takes her on a scientific, spiritual, and often solitary journey that ranges from the icy waters of the Pacific Northwest to Miami's sweltering Seaquarium, and from Amsterdam's fabled red-light district to one of Paris' seedy underground saunas. Throughout her odyssey, Steinke brings a fervent feminism and vibrant voice to a subject that has, for far too long, been talked about only in whispers.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2019, American Library Association.)