Tranquility Parenting

February 18, 2019
Polat, a practitioner of stoicism and creator of apparentstoic.com, draws on the philosophical school’s practical and relevant wisdom in a straightforward and lucidly presented primer on stoic parenting. She is careful to differentiate stoicism’s contemporary connotations—as referring to “someone who doesn’t show or even feel any emotion”—from the classical teachings of Seneca, Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius, who prized “emotional tranquility in tough situations” and a logical approach to positive and negative emotions alike as a path to “lasting peace and happiness” not tied to material goods or fleeting emotions. Noting the Stoics were “master psychologists,” Polat finds their ideas applicable to “difficult situations” commonly encountered with children, including resistance to potty training, intra-sibling jealousy, and back talk to parents. In eight short chapters, Polat walks readers through giving up the need for control, rethinking value judgments, teaching children values, and in general becoming, in Seneca’s words, “cheerful, calm, and undisturbed.” While Polat’s work may not replace mindfulness with tranquility as the new self-care buzzword, it makes a good case for the applicability of an ancient intellectual tradition to modern child care.