You Throw Like a Girl

July 1, 2019
Former NFL quarterback McPherson’s memoir is a “thorough self-scouting” that challenges men to consider violence against women as a men’s issue, and to pivot toward a “conversation among men about the aspiration and essential values of masculinity.” McPherson sees boys being raised with a primary mandate to avoid being girls or gay men and to be tough, silent, and stoic—an essentially misogynistic approach that also, he writes, limits men’s emotional growth and sense of accountability. He recounts his transition from celebrity athlete to educator at age 29, which prompted realizations that privilege and gendered expectations had a greater impact on him than the racism he had experienced. McPherson is critical of the abusive language of sports motivation; of the team loyalty that leads men to protect peers who commit assault; and of the “bare minimum effort” style of allyship that promotes protective chivalry and violence for supposedly good causes and approaches problem solving “as if experience is the source of the problem.” Instead, McPherson wants readers to begin to understand that traditional masculinity is a burden to boys and men, and to help change the narrative handed down to them. Though McPherson’s vision is neither unique nor perfectly articulated, this is a valuable contribution to the new choir of traditionally masculine men reevaluating themselves on their own terms.

Starred review from August 1, 2019

One of the outstanding quarterbacks of his generation, McPherson (b. 1965) pursued a postfootball career as an advocate for gender-based violence prevention. Incorporating his experiences as an African American man, this authorial debut examines what McPherson terms blind spots of masculinity: attitudes and subtle messages that undermine a healthy equality for women and an accurate self-image for men. He builds a convincing case for addressing the existing patriarchal ideal and offers thoughtful language and guidelines for raising sensitivity in young boys and men. Sports fans may pick this up to learn about a renowned quarterback, but his message of inspiration goes beyond the gridiron. This is a call to action that has the potential to provoke conversation and change, and is a unique crossover of sports memoir and astute social commentary. VERDICT From success as a football player to his mission as a feminist and educator, McPherson has spent decades sharing his story and advocating for a new definition of manhood. This timely and coherent study of gender roles is highly recommended for all public library collections.--Janet Davis, Darien P.L., CT

Copyright 2019 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

September 1, 2019
What did All American quarterback and NFL player Don McPherson do after retiring from the gridiron in 1994? He transitioned to community activism, focusing on gender-based violence prevention and education programs. He pitched this book back in 2001 only to have it rejected because its intended readers, men, would not purchase it. Fast-forward to today and the rise of the #MeToo movement, and a time when McPherson's insight and unique perspective as a Black athlete and activist trying to reduce men's violence against women are likely to find a receptive audience across genders. Drawing from personal and real-life experiences, McPherson explores issues of privilege and sexism. He reminds us that while voices of women must be heard, it will remain a one-sided "women's issue" unless men are engaged, too. With sports as a relatable backdrop, this book makes an important contribution to broadening our understanding of toxic expressions of masculinity. Suggest as a read-alike The Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women and How All Men Can Help, by McPherson's mentor, Jackson Katz (2006).(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2019, American Library Association.)