Finding Meaning

Starred review from September 16, 2019
In this excellent work, Kessler, coauthor with Elisabeth Kübler-Ross of the landmark On Grief and Grieving, extends the well-known five stages of grief model with a sixth stage: meaning. “Meaning helps us makes sense of grief,” Kessler writes, speaking both as professional grief counselor and as someone who has experienced tremendous loss—his 21-year-old son died suddenly just as he began writing this book. In developing his case, Kessler cites countless examples of famous and not so famous individuals whose grief prompted them to take some kind of action to move along in life, make sense of their loss, and honor their loved one. Kessler shows how large acts (starting a foundation) as well as small ones (eating an ice cream sundae in memory of a loved one as a celebration) help the bereaved to create meaning in a variety of ways. Though this is not a memoir, Kessler draws on his personal experience, giving the prose an immediacy many clinical works lack. Anyone who has lost a loved one will find solace in Kessler’s comforting words. Agent: Margaret Riley King, WME.

October 1, 2019

Decades after Elisabeth Kübler Ross described the five stages of dying in 1969's On Death and Dying, Ross and grief expert Kessler coauthored On Grief and Grieving and Life Lessons. Kessler has since proposed that a sixth stage, finding meaning in loss, can assist in adding closure and generate a more hopeful experience. Meaning can come through establishing rituals that commemorate someone's life, a contribution that will honor them, or even deepen one's connection to special relationships. The author describes the challenges inherent in the loss of a child, suicide, and mental illness, and through this thoughtful text helps readers build a new normal. VERDICT An excellent addition to grief literature that helps pave the way for steps toward healing.

Copyright 2019 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.