Dealing with Doctors, Denial, and Death

January 9, 2017
“Accepting death and making the time before death peaceful and comforting is one of the best gifts we can give to ourselves, our family, and our loved ones,” says oncologist and medical ethicist Mangalik as he takes on a big and often avoided topic in his debut book. His goal is to empower patients to avoid unnecessary medical treatments and to “prepare you and your family for you to have a comfortable, peaceful death.” He educates readers on all aspects of the end of life, including accepting the inevitability of death, understanding why doctors over-treat—one reason is their “refusal to accept failure”; another is “competitiveness and ambition”—and resisting the urge to demand unrealistic treatments. There is a great deal of helpful information in these pages, on topics such as interpreting statistics and end-of-life directives. Among many good points the author makes is that patients may “go for a treatment based on the best possible scenario” without understanding that “improvement of heart function by x percent” might not actually make the patient feel better. The book’s writing tends toward the verbose and repetitive, but its intent couldn’t be worthier. Readers will find much of value if they persevere.

January 1, 2017
Mangalik, who spent 50 years as an oncologist, radiates compassion in this common-sense guide to planning a good death. People can take charge of how they want to die, ideally free of pain and surrounded by family and friends. Why do we not prepare for our own death? Mangalik asks. Doctors tend to overdo treatment for many reasons, including financial incentives and fear of lawsuits, but patients don't need to just say yes. He notes that patients can legally refuse feeding tubes and intravenous fluids. This thought-provoking book is meant for the healthy as well as those who are ill. The best time to ask yourself what you do, and don't, want is when you are in good health, Mangalik advises. He discloses that one big reason for his advocacy for honesty and openness is memories of how his own family stayed mum when his mother died in her thirties of an acute gallbladder infection. Mangalik provides invaluable information everyone can use to be prepared to face the inevitability of death and celebrate each life.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2017, American Library Association.)