The Gaslight Effect

April 1, 2007
Following in the steps of writers like Patricia Evans ("The Verbally Abusive Relationship"), psychotherapist Stern addresses gaslightingemotional abuse and manipulation among family members, coworkers, friends, and lovers. The "gaslight effect" refers to the classic 1944 film "Gaslight", in which a wife, eager for her abusive husband's approval, allows her self-esteem to be sabotaged to the point she believes she is losing her mind. The gaslighter, who may be male or female, though usually male in a romantic relationship, insists on being right and is always the winner; he may not be an intimidator but may threaten or be perceived as threatening. The gaslightee excuses and eventually feels responsible for the gaslighter's manipulative behavior. Focusing on gaslightees, Stern presents a three-stage model of gaslighting leading from disbelief through defense to depression, illustrated with examples taken from her clinical work. She describes types of gaslighters and shows gaslightees how to identify situations and feelings indicating that gaslighting may be happening. Her advice and strategies for "turning off the gas," making decisions for staying or leaving, and keeping future relationships "gaslight free" are practical and sound, emphasizing improving self-esteem and visualizing outcomes. Sidebars give scenarios, scripts, and indicators. Strongly recommended for self-help collections in public libraries.Lucille M. Boone, San Jose P.L., CA

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