Captains Outrageous

August 27, 2001
Edgar-winner Lansdale's (The Bottoms) fifth Hap and Leonard mystery marvel is sure to keep you laughing amid the carnage. No good deed goes unpunished, especially when Hap Collins becomes a reluctant hero down in East Texas while working as a security guard for a chicken plant. After rescuing a local girl from a savage beating, Hap receives a big reward. Problem is—while on the outs with his girlfriend, Brett—he decides to use some of the reward money on a sea cruise shared with his best friend, Leonard Pine. After all, the closest Hap's family had ever come to a cruise "was a rowboat down the Sabine River with a fishing pole." So off to the Caribbean the fearless pair go, only to run smack dab into the usual heap of trouble. Not only does the food stink, but on their first tourist stop to check out some Mayan ruins, they miss the boat back to the ship. Stranded in Playa del Carmen, they run into muggers and, aided by a mysterious old fisherman and his troubled daughter, get caught in a sticky web of intrigue, violence and chicanery. As the body count mounts, they find no place is safe, not even East Texas. The two friends ultimately go back to Mexico to take care of some business they're not apt to soon forget. Lansdale's quick wit is in top form, and his raunchy, sometimes ridiculous and yet so lovable heroes continue to amuse. Take this one along on your next cruise.

January 25, 2010
Hap Collins is working as a security guard for a poultry plant when he saves a young woman from a brutal assault only to find that she is the daughter of the plant’s owner. As a reward the owner gives Hap $100,000, enough for Hap and his best friend Leonard Pine to take a vacation cruise down old Mexico way. However, when they become involved with an elderly fisherman and his beautiful daughter, they bring a world of trouble down on their heads. Lansdale’s writing is blunt, sometimes crude, and no holds barred violent, but it’s also witty, outrageously funny, and often touching. Phil Gigante’s delivery brings a sitting-at-the-bar intimacy to the book’s first-person narrative, and his delivery of the laugh-out-loud dialogue is worth the price of admission. A Vintage paperback.