The Princess Beard

July 1, 2019
In the proudly lowbrow third volume of the satirical Tales of Pell (after No Country for Old Gnomes), Dawson and Hearne turn to the high seas as their unlikely heroes become even less likely pirates. Captained by the talking parrot Filthy Lucre, the crew of the Puffy Peach set out for adventure and treasure. Among them are Morgan, a princess who kept the beard she grew during an enchanted sleep; Vic, a centaur whose overbearing toxic masculinity is at odds with his ability to conjure tea and pastries; and Tempest, a dryad who wants to be a lawyer. As they sail the crimson tides of the Myn Seas (populated by tampooners) and brave the dangers of all-night eateries, they challenge gender roles in fantasy and skewer social trends, attacking targets as varied as Harry Potter and gym culture with a dizzying array of bad jokes and puns. (“I am an expert seaman of the Morningwood, and I’ve got a lot of spunk,” claims Alobartalus, a disgruntled elf in search of a new destiny.) The sheer quantity of sophomoric humor threatens to drown out an entertaining plot filled with callbacks to previous volumes and satisfying emotional journeys for the protagonists. This is a clever send-up of fantasy tropes and modern culture, but it often tries a little too hard.

Starred review from August 1, 2019
Prophecies, pirates, and a princess?oh my! At the end of No Country for Old Gnomes (2019), hints were offered about further escapades in the kingdom of Pell. The authors bring the tale full circle, returning to the princess sleeping in a tower first seen in Kill the Farm Boy (2018). What do you get when a recently awakened princess sporting a beard teams up with an iron-pumping centaur with a dubious magical talent, a woodland dryad determined to become a lawyer, an unelvish elf who wants to sail south rather than east like the other elves, and a parrot pirate captain seeking the perfect perch? Throw in a few cryptic curses, a swarm of frantic otters (individually cute and cuddly, not so much in large groups) plus a fantastic spoof of Harry Potter's Sorting Hat and you have a rollicking adventure about friendship and finding one's place in the world. Rounding it out is a character who connects all three books, and readers of the previous Tales of Pell will appreciate the cameos in this fantastic series finale. Dawson and Hearne crown their trifecta of tempestuous hilarity with enough puns and fairy tale spoofs to tickle anyone's funny bone.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2019, American Library Association.)