My Heart and Other Black Holes

December 1, 2014
Debut novelist Warga addresses adolescent depression and suicide with honesty and grace in this story of a scientific-minded Turkish-American 16-year-old who is preparing to end her life. Those
in Langston, Ky., who don’t know Aysel
Seran have likely heard of her father, who “slashed the Olympic dreams of the whole town” by murdering its most talented young athlete. Since her father’s incarceration, Aysel has been terrified that she inherited the gene that will make her a violent “monster” like him. Death seems like her only escape, but she doesn’t want to die alone. Thus she makes a suicide pact with Roman, a teen she finds on a website for those considering suicide. When they meet, Roman’s good looks and compassion are unexpected distractions; the more Aysel comes to understand Roman’s talents, desires, and regrets, the less certain she is that they are making the right decision. Through an eloquent first-person narrative, Warga crystallizes the significant turning points in Aysel’s attitudes and emotions, and celebrates the sparks of hope combatting the dark thoughts that threaten to destroy her. Ages 14–up. Agent: Brenda Bowen, Sanford J. Greenburger Associates.

November 1, 2014

Gr 9 Up-Aysel Seran suffers from severe depression and is haunted by and ostracized on account of an act of violence that her father committed three years ago. She and the "black slug" inside her are convinced that suicide is her best and most sensible option. Although she doesn't interact much with other people, concern about her latent self-preservation instincts leads her to partner up with Roman, another suicidal teen from the next town over. As they plan their suicide pact, however, her doubts begin to increase. Warga's debut, written (according to the author's note) after the loss of a close friend, often feels heavy-handed, especially when using physics (Aysel's a nerd and Warga has worked as a science teacher) as an emotional metaphor. Overall, the book addresses serious issues with complexity and humor, and allows the overlapping situational and chemical causes of the characters' depression and isolation to coexist in a very real and murky way. Aysel is a tough but likable character, at once jaded and appealingly naive. She's also Turkish, a daughter of immigrants in a largely white, small Kentucky town, a circumstance that the author presents without making it the focus of the narrative. The other characters are less developed, even Roman, who falls a little flat, but all are thoughtfully presented. A list of suicide and depression resources are appended.-Katya Schapiro, Brooklyn Public Library

Copyright 2014 School Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

November 15, 2014
Two teenagers make a suicide pact in this poignant, first-person debut.Sixteen-year-old Aysel's life "can be neatly divided into two sections: before my father made the nightly news and after." Since her mentally ill father murdered a local boy with Olympic hopes, Aysel feels as though her only escape from the public shame is suicide. She also worries that her father's madness is genetic and exists inside her as well. Through a website that matches suicide partners, Aysel meets Roman, a kind, attractive, athletic boy who feels responsible for the drowning death of his little sister. Even though Aysel harbors a passion for science and Roman a love of basketball, they are determined not to let each other "flake out." Together they begin enacting a fake relationship designed to lull Roman's overprotective mother into allowing Roman more freedom so they can carry out their fatal plan. But when Aysel begins falling in love with Roman for real, she knows she can no longer follow through on their pact. Can she convince Roman that his life is worth living before it's too late? Any teen who's ever felt like an outsider will be able to relate to Aysel's and Roman's fully realized characters. The countdown at the beginning of each chapter to the couple's death date (the same day Roman's sister died) will help propel readers forward to a hopeful if not entirely unexpected ending. Earnest and heartfelt. (author's note, resources) (Fiction. 13-17)

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Starred review from February 1, 2015
Grades 9-12 *Starred Review* Fearful for her sanity and grieved by her father's crimes, 16-year-old physics nerd Aysel has decided the only way to combat the black slug inside her that eats any possible happiness is to kill herself. But she doesn't trust herself to do it, so she uses a website to find a suicide partner who will make the journey with her. She hasn't counted, however, on that partner being good-looking Roman, who battles guilt over his sister's death. He insists that Aysel must not be a flake, that they must carry through no matter what. Ironically, spending time planning their deaths with Roman makes Aysel change her mind. But Roman has fewer misgivings and more anguish, and Aysel must decide if she wants to honor his wishes. Warga's immensely readable first novel somehow accomplishes the impossibleshe addresses a vital topic without being preachy, creating characters that are lovable in spite of significant flaws. At times poignant, bitter, and funny, this narrative captures Aysel's unique voice that questions what it means to dieand to live.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2015, American Library Association.)