What You Left Behind

May 1, 2015
A teenage father struggles to cope with grief, guilt, and his daughter. When Ryden falls in love with Meg, he thinks the biggest challenge is her melanoma. But then Meg gets pregnant and forgoes chemotherapy to have the baby, only to die just before giving birth. Now he's got baby Hope to care for, guilt and grief over Meg, and a million other worries, all realistically detailed by Verdi. How can he manage school, a job, and a baby, let alone get a soccer scholarship to UCLA? Feeling like he's failing as a father is just the straw that breaks the camel's back. Only Joni, his quirky, cool co-worker, helps keep his mind off his problems-because she doesn't know about any of them. But if Ryden doesn't deal with his grief and guilt, he won't be able to be a good son, a good boyfriend, or a good father. That's why finding three of Meg's journals, ones she left for him, seems so important. But will they hold the answers he needs? This combination of teen-pregnancy and sick-teenager tropes works thanks to Ryden's blend of maturity and selfishness. His candid voice is endearing, and although his present-tense narration at first seems like every other teen novel on the shelf, the granulated iteration of baby details helps to illuminate the crushing burden he feels. Other characters are also well-drawn, and the plot moves along tidily to a satisfying conclusion. Verdi balances her plot elements deftly in a read that could have gone terribly wrong in less sure hands. (Fiction. 14-18)

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Starred review from June 1, 2015

Gr 9 Up-Ryden Brooks is making the most of his senior year as the star soccer goalie with his beautiful girlfriend Meg on his arm. He has a promising sports career, with his eyes set on a scholarship to UCLA, until it all comes crumbling down. Meg gets cancer and is pregnant. While the protagonist is riddled with guilt, wanting to take care of the situation, Meg feels the opposite and goes against all advice, thus writing her own death sentence. Hope is born, and Meg passes, leaving Ryden and his single mother to pick up the pieces; Meg's parents wants nothing to do with them. The teen is thrust headfirst into fatherhood, meanwhile working a summer job at Whole Foods where he meets Joni. She knows nothing about his past and awakens something in Ryden that he thought was long buried. Verdi eloquently details the trials and tribulations of being a single teen dad, Ryden's feelings of guilt over Meg's death, and his budding feelings towards Joni. The author weaves a mystery amid the chaos through the uncovering of a series of journals that Meg left for Ryden, her sister Mabel, and best friend Alan. Verdi holds nothing back, shedding a realistic light on Ryden's situation, his decisions, and their very real consequences. His voice is spot-on and doesn't sugarcoat the harsh realities that he faces. It isn't often that a book nails the male teen voice as well as Verdi does in this work. VERDICT An excellent addition to YA collections.-Erin Holt, Williamson County Public Library, Franklin, TN

Copyright 2015 School Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

June 1, 2015
Grades 10-1 Ryden is trying to hold down a part-time job and a place on the varsity soccer team while caring for his infant daughter. His girlfriend, Meg, has died of cancer, and his guilt about getting her pregnant casts a pall over his entire existence. Despite Ryden's need to hide the truth about his life, he makes a powerful connection with an amazing new coworker named Jonimeanwhile discovering that Meg left behind messages in journals hidden shortly before her death. As he uncovers more and more of Meg's secrets, the past threatens the future he's worked so hard to build. Verdi ratchets up the drama and tension by planting one of Ryden's feet firmly in the past and the other in an uncertain, perhaps unrealistic future. His belief in a Division I college athletic career begins to shatter under the weight of homework, cash-flow problems, day-care issues, and his fragile emotional state. Teens will be hooked by the premise but will stick with Ryden and his friends in this all-too-real portrait of a modern family.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2015, American Library Association.)