I Am Here Now

March 15, 2020
A Bronx teen comes of age in a dysfunctional family. Set in 1960, Bottner's verse novel explores the hardships endured by straight 15-year-old Maisie Meyers and her gay 11-year-old brother, Davy, who are repeatedly subjected to their mother's violent physical and emotional outbursts and their father's extended absences. First-person narrator Maisie, from a middle-class Hungarian Jewish American background, takes solace in the friendship of working-class Irish American neighbor Richie O'Neill, the son of a troubled Vietnam veteran prone--like Maisie's mother--to erratic, abusive behavior. Maisie laments that she and Richie "have parents / who could compete to be / the most unhappily married people / in all of Parkchester" and, given the tense congestion of their urban neighborhood, concludes: "Nobody who lives in the Bronx can relax." Bottner's narrative of familial dysfunction probes Maisie's development as she attempts to protect her brother in a house where "it's always war" as she acts out, seeking from a boy the affection denied by a mother who "stands firmly against happiness, / as if it's a bad religion" and who makes no bones about telling her children they were mistakes. Packing numerous themes of evolving teen self-identity amid the cityscape of a broken home, this turbulent, plot-driven tale shows how a miserable home life transcends ethnic, historical, and socio-economic bounds. Timeless lessons in how to find one's self-worth in the face of parental abuse. (Verse fiction. 14-18)

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March 23, 2020
In 1960, budding artist Maisie reflects on her tumultuous freshman year in the Bronx’s Parkchester community. Maisie’s home is no refuge from her noisy neighborhood—when her Hungarian-American mother isn’t battling it out with her father, she is abusive, belittling Maisie and sometimes turning violent. Maisie uses drawing to escape but still feels like “one quarter of a human being,/ three-quarters longing,/ drowning in emptiness” until she meets Rachel, a girl whose home life is everything Maisie wishes hers was. In Rachel’s bohemian household, Maisie finds it easy to open up to Rachel’s mother, an oil painter, who quickly becomes her mentor. But as Maisie comes into herself, her attraction to Rachel’s gorgeous boyfriend could ruin her newfound happiness. Best known for her picture books, Bottner (What a Cold Needs) draws on all five senses to evoke Maisie’s chaotic world, using expressive verse to portray “what it’s like for me,” from the dark atmosphere of her home to the bright environments of Rachel’s house and her mother’s art studio. Though outside issues make the story line seem scattered at times, the book’s subject matter and themes remain timeless. Ages 14–up. Agent: Rick Richter, Aevitas Creative Management (May)■

May 15, 2020
Grades 9-12 Freshman Maisie Meyers is a budding Bronx artist in the early 1960s whose family includes a globe-trotting father, a physically abusive mother, and a younger brother obsessed with Gershwin. All she wants is a different life and a friend to grow up with. At school, she meets Rachel, and the two become close, especially after Maisie meets Rachel's mother, Kiki, who is an artist. But life goes from bad to worse after Maisie's father walks out and her mother spirals downward, and when Maisie falls for Rachel's boyfriend, Gino. Risking relationships with everyone in her life, Maisie learns from Kiki, stands up to her father, and bonds with her brother for the first time. Bottner's novel in verse is a vivid trip through a girl's early teen years, showing that adolescent needs and wants remain constant through the decades. Maisie is a strong narrator who rings true, especially facing the totality of her challenges. Perfect for readers who are struggling to figure out their place in the world.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2020, American Library Association.)

July 24, 2020

Gr 8 Up-Fourteen-year-old budding artist Maisie chronicles her life as a white and Jewish girl in the Bronx via verse. Her mother is physically and emotionally abusive while her father is mostly absent; Maisie and her brother Davy are set against each other in a battle to stay safe. As Maisie begins high school she befriends Rachel and soon, Rachel's artist mother Kiki. Maisie is entranced by this family who encourages her dreams of becoming an artist as her own home life unravels. But when Maisie gets too close to Rachel's boyfriend Gino, relationships crumble. Bottner paints a sympathetic portrait of a teen in flux, but this tale may not resonate with readers. The 1960s setting falls flat, as the time period has no real effect on the story. Maisie's attempts to connect with others as she grapples with her budding sexuality and searches for love engenders sympathy. The short chapters of verse help to convey Maisie's artistic talent. There are descriptions of emotional and physical abuse, as well as sex on the page (though not graphic). VERDICT A heartwrenching story about a 1960s aspiring artist trying to find her place in world as those closest to her let her down repeatedly, this novel in verse may fail to connect with modern readers. -Elissa Bongiorno, Washington, DC

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