Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

February 2, 2009
AS A POPULAR COMEDIAN, RADIO HOST AND RED-BLOODED MALE, HARVEY DOESN'T HAVE THE BONA FIDES TYPICAL TO MOST WOMEN'S RELATIONSHIP SELF-HELP, BUT HE STILL MANAGES A THOROUGH, WITTY GUIDE TO THE MODERN MAN. HARVEY UNDERTAKES THE TASK BECAUSE "WOMEN ARE CLUELESS ABOUT MEN," BECAUSE "MEN GET AWAY WITH A WHOLE LOT OF STUFF" AND BECAUSE HE HAS "SOME VALUABLE INFORMATION TO CHANGE ALL OF THAT." HARVEY MAKES A GAME EFFORT, TAKING A BOLD BUT FAMILIAR MEN-ARE-DOGS APPROACH: IF YOU'RE "CUTTING BACK" ON SEX, "HE WILL HAVE ANOTHER WOMAN LINED UP AND WAITING TO GIVE HIM WHAT HE NEEDS AND WANTS-THE COOKIE." SEVERAL CHAPTERS LATER, HOWEVER, HE INTRODUCES THE "NINETY-DAY RULE," ASSERTING THAT, ACTUALLY, HE WON'T ALWAYS HAVE ANOTHER WOMAN LINED UP-AND THE ONLY WAY TO MAKE SURE IS A THREE MONTH VETTING PERIOD. HARVEY ALSO TACKLES MAMA'S BOYS, "INDEPENDENT-AND LONELY-WOMEN," AND THE MATTER OF CHILDREN IN THE DATING WORLD ("IF HE'S MEETING THE KIDS AFTER YOU DECIDE HE'S THE ONE, IT'S TOO LATE"). FEMINISTS AND THE EASILY OFFENDED PROBABLY WON'T TAKE TO HARVEY'S BLANKET STATEMENTS AND BLUNT ADVICE, BUT HARVEY'S FANS AND THOSE IN NEED OF TOUGH (BUT TICKLISH) LOVE ADVICE SHOULD CHECK IT OUT (ESPECIALLY THE HYSTERICAL LAST-CHAPTER Q&A).