The Undervalued Self

March 8, 2010
Psychotherapist and "social psychologist" Aron (The Highly Sensitive Person) presents a "rich, complex and deeply layered" approach to building self-esteem, suitable for studious readers ready to work for understanding and change. Introducing lots of psychology terms and ideas, Aron's guide requires attention and concentration; regarding quick fixes like self-affirmations, Aron contends that research shows "they can make those with low self-esteem feel even worse about themselves." Instead, Aron investigates the basic concepts of ranking and linking, which play a role in all of our relationships and contribute to the ways we undervalue ourselves. Using a series of true/false questionnaires, case studies and analytical observation, Aron identifies the masks and self-defense strategies we use unconsciously to deal with traumatic events, and how those strategies affect self-worth. Topics under consideration include dreams, the specter of the Inner Critic, and self-sabotaging behavior like the Protector-Persecutor paradigm. Though the material can be hard to grasp, dedicated rereading will give readers a sophisticated understanding of low self-esteem, and concrete steps to improve it.