Mean Moms Rule

February 20, 2012
Freelance writer and mother of two, Schipani asserts that parents (in particular moms) who coddle their children, try to be their “friend,” or take a child-centric or helicopter approach to parenting aren’t doing their kids any favors. To counteract the trend toward warm and fuzzy parenting, she presents 10 “Mean Mom Manifestos” in separate chapters (e.g., “Hang On to Yourself. You May Need that Person Later,” “Don’t Follow the Parenting Pack,” “Take (or Take Back) Control”). Schipani urges moms to take charge and teach life skills so that kids will grow up to be confidant, capable adults. “Mean,” by the author’s definition, entails bucking the prevailing parenting trend, liberally using “the No word,” and taking “the long view of parenting” by placing more emphasis on future outcome than jumping to meet kids’ demands all day long. Schipani has a solid track record of writing on parenting topics and no shortage of opinions. Self-described as “relentlessly practical” she is also funny, witty, and loaded with suggestions for keeping kids in their place (e.g., stash the grown-up ice cream in the back of the freezer and eat it after they go to bed). While some readers will find the author’s mean-mom shtick a bit jarring (though hip and catchy, perhaps the word “mean” is ill-chosen), others will welcome the message that when mean moms “rule,” kids benefit.

Starred review from April 1, 2013

The only thing bad about this book is the title. The parenting approach taken and recommended by Schipani is hardly "mean"--many would consider it traditional, honest, and effective. In material that is based on valuing future outcomes more than present-day happiness, she offers ten "Mean Mom Manifestos" for raising great kids, including "It's Not About You, It's About Them;" "Hang On To Yourself. You May Need That Person Later (And So May Your Kids)," and "Say No. Smile. Don't Apologize. Repeat as Necessary." Her reasoning is logical and persuasive, and her presentation is humorous and conversational without being cutesy or apologetic. VERDICT Helicopter parenting has reached peak oil in my opinion, and Schipani provides a great new model for taking back control. Buy. Circulate. Repeat.

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