Nice Girls Just Don't Get It

January 31, 2011
Frankel (Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office) and Frohlinger (coauthor, Her Place at the Table) provide a broad set of skills women can use to achieve goals when dealing with anyone, anywhere, whether a disparaging sister-in-law, a contractor who can't remember what was agreed upon in previous discussions, or a boyfriend who lets you pay for most of the meals and entertainment. Employing case studies and self-assessment and visualization exercises, the authors urge readers not to let early experiences define them and limit their expectations of themselves or invest equally in every relationship. They advise paying attention to subtle messages given by others, developing a thicker skin, and asking directly for what you need rather than hinting around, as well as avoiding passive-aggressive behavior; learn to interrupt a discussion "with aplomb"; and being proactive in both your personal and professional lives. Despite nuggets of helpful advice, this book feels like an also-ran to Frankel's previous trail-blazing bestseller.

February 15, 2011

According to Frankel (Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office) and Frohlinger, cofounder of Negotiating Women, Inc., women who are "nice girls" are held back in relationships, friendships, and all aspects of their personal lives. It's not enough to plan a strategy to overcome self-deprecating behaviors; one must envision and enact tactics as well. The 99 tactics they put forward range from assessing the messenger and allowing others to save face, to creating boundaries and avoiding perfectionism. Their common-sense solutions and psychological backup provide a starting place for any woman wanting to overcome the polite "niceness" holding her back and move forward in a more egalitarian fashion. A great shot in the arm for all working women.

Copyright 2011 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.