The Everyday Parenting Toolkit

May 6, 2013
Renowned Yale University psychology professor and child psychiatrist Kazdin (The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child), director of the Yale Parenting Center, offers practical strategies to help parents manage everyday behavioral problems. His science-based method may surprise some readers, particularly those who favor a more authoritarian approach. The core of the book focuses on the “ABC’s”: antecedents, behavior, and consequences. According to Kazdin, parents can effect desired behavior in their children by offering choices and speaking in pleasant tones. Failure to offer a choice—such as letting a child decide to do homework before or after dinner—decreases the likelihood of compliance, as do hints of stress or desperation in a parent’s voice. As Kazdin shows, praise—when given in a specific manner at a specific time—is more effective than trinkets or other rewards; he also suggests that a two-week punishment for an offense (e.g. taking a bike away for that time) is no more effective than a two-day punishment. In fact, he asserts that punishment is “wildly overrated” and works only when it’s mild and paired with positive reinforcement. Featuring plenty of concrete examples and useful strategies, this book will help parents trying to nurture well-behaved kids.