I Thought It Was Just Me

November 13, 2006
University of Houston researcher and social worker Brown believes shame underlies the spread of depression, anxiety, eating disorders and much more, and drawing on a study of hundreds of women, she constructs a method for overcoming it. Brown defines shame as "the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance and belonging" and believes its spread has been created by conflicting and competing expectations about who women should be. Women feel shame about their appearance, about motherhood, family, money/work, health, stereotypes and trauma. Brown quotes liberally from the women she has studied and, most enlighteningly, gives examples from her own experiences juggling motherhood, career and her social life. These revelations underscore her belief in the importance of exposing shame and, through empathy, helping oneself and others move past it. She underscores the need to practice critical awareness, i.e., understanding the social forces that create shame in us can help us fight the sense of shame. Thus, Brown presents a spirited attack on the media and the beauty industry for presenting unrealistic images of women. Directing readers to focus on personal growth as opposed to unattainable perfection, Brown urges them to practice shame-resilience skills and teach them to their children.

December 1, 2006
Brown (social work, Univ. of Houston Graduate Sch. of Social Work) studies grounded theory, social policy, and shame. Her interests converge in this self-help book, which is directed at women and their dissatisfaction with themselves and the circumstances of their lives (she indicates that much of this dissatisfaction stems from messages women get from current culture). Although Brown is clearly passionate and knowledgeable about her subject and has a smooth writing style, her book is thin on content. On several topics, it is only a reworking of her "Women & Shame: Reaching Out, Speaking Truths and Building Connection". That work had a fresher, folksier approach and should also be considered by public libraries interested in adding this topic to their self-help collections. For those looking for a scholarly approach to this subject, June Price Tangney's works are good choices, especially "Shame and Guilt".Fran Mentch, Cleveland State Univ. Lib.

Copyright 2006 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

February 15, 2007
Interviewing hundreds of women over six years, Brown was constantly faced with the shame just talking about shame induced. She explores how and why this universal human emotion is particularly present in women and how it affects behavior and relationships. She relates women's stories of shame about everything from obsession over appearance to sexual abuse, abuse of alcohol and drugs, and inadequacies as mothers, wives, and lovers. Brown offers insights and strategies for understanding shame and overcoming its power over women. She begins by defining shame and differentiating it from other emotions, and explores how shame is used and induced in the broader culture. She then identifies four elements of resilience: recognizing shame triggers, critical awareness, reaching out for help and connection with others, and speaking out about shame. She advises women on practicing courage, compassion, and connection to overcome cultures of fear, blame, and disconnection. An interesting look at a debilitating emotion that stunts the potential of too many women.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2007, American Library Association.)