The Science of Happily Ever After: What Really Matters in the Quest for Enduring Love

Starred review from November 11, 2013
While on the surface, science and love seem to have absolutely nothing to do with one other, Tashiro, a relationship expert for Discovery’s Fit & Health channel, considers how employing scientific principles in a search for a mate could yield success. Tashiro tosses out three provocative questions: “What does ‘happily ever after’ really mean, and why do only three in ten people find it?” “Why do we only get three wishes for an ideal partner, and why do most people wish for the wrong things?” “What three traits should you look for in a partner if you want to improve significantly the odds of finding enduring love?” After explaining the evolutionary reasons why one is predisposed to wish for attractive, healthy mates, Tashiro emphasizes the importance of choosing the right three wishes in attracting an ideal partner. He examines potential pitfalls, like holding out for an unreasonable ideal mate, teaches readers to examine their desires and analyze existing relationships for future happiness, and spot potential red flags in seemingly sound pairings. Complete with exercises, quizzes, sound advice, and a practical yet supportive tone, Tashiro offers the closest thing to a roadmap for “happily-ever-after.” Agent: Laurie Abkemeier, DeFiore and Company.

December 1, 2013

In his first book, relationship expert Tashiro (Discovery Network's Fit and Healthy Channel) encourages love-seeking singles to imagine a fairy godmother granting them three wishes to define their ideal partners. Tashiro theorizes that limiting the wishes to three will make the recipients pause and think about what matters in romantic relationships. He strategizes with readers to make the best decisions, with the goal of achieving stable and satisfying relationships. Tashiro points out that studies show marital instability to be the norm rather than the exception, with only 33 percent of couples finding enduring love. He explores such topics as the nature of lust, innate survival mechanisms, and the power of personality. Interestingly, although Tashiro places little emphasis on the popular theory that relationships are unconsciously initiated to heal the unmet needs of childhood (as in Harville Hendrix's Getting the Love You Want), he contends that child/caregiver attachment patterns are remarkably predictive of future attachments to romantic partners. VERDICT This engaging and thought-provoking book is highly recommended for readers seeking to learn more about romantic relationship dynamics and is especially ideal for singles.--Linda Petty, Wimberley, TX

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