Permission to Parent

Starred review from March 17, 2014
Psychiatrist and mother of three Berman joins the backlash against helicopter parenting with this accessible, well-written guide. Based on her experience working with both children and adults, the book is full of memorable anecdotes and quotes that show how quickly parents can turn brats into better citizens. In a winning chapter titled “Prada Kids,” the author relates stories of parents whose egos cloud their sense of sportsmanship when their children take the field. In a world that emphasizes success and achievement, Berman celebrates such unfashionable goals as “shepherding” the soul and “developing a deep and loving relationship with your child and fostering great character.” One of the book’s powerful messages is that giving unconditional love to children doesn’t mean relinquishing control, but it does mean modeling good behavior, as when a mother requires her two young sons to engage in peaceful problem solving using a talking stick. Similarly, Berman advises parents to moderate exposure to digital media—not just their child’s, but their own. In other words, “parenting is more about raising yourself than it is about raising your child.” This convincing and helpful book includes end-of-chapter summaries for easy reference, as well as sample parent-child contracts for the pre-teen phone user or new driver. Agent: Jan Miller, Dupree/Miller & Associates.