Introverts in Love

October 20, 2014
Dembling (The Introvert’s Way) tackles the pitfalls of dating and relationships for the introspective and sometimes socially awkward. Claiming that no magic formula exists for choosing a mate, she describes for introverts the benefits of dating fellow introverts vs. those of dating extroverts. For instance, she claims, introvert couples are happy to “do things alone together,” whereas an extrovert can be relied upon by an introvert to do “most of the heavy lifting conversation-wise” in social situations. On meeting potential partners, Dembling insists on widening your social circle, saying yes to “any invitations that don’t sound unbearable” and cultivating an approachable body language. Other suggestions include joining a group like a book club or yoga class, and of course, using the Internet, “the introvert dater’s best friend.” Dembling also lays out the pros and cons of a variety of dating venues, from the traditional dinner and a movie to the quirkier flea market or street fair. She cautions readers against a passivity that may lead to settling for less or being manipulated into uncomfortable situations, and advises being direct but casual in communicating your needs. With introversion reaching buzzword status, this book may attract an audience, but the advice is largely common sense and widely available in other relationship guides. Agent: Penny Nelson, Manus & Associates.

December 1, 2014

Author of The Introvert's Way (LJ 12/12), Dembling discusses the challenges introverts have in meeting other people and building relationships in which they can flourish. Coaching the reader in the art of appearing approachable, setting boundaries, and communicating through using words instead of silences and moodiness, the author posits useful suggestions for living with extroverts, and, alternatively, on the need for others and retreating into separate isolated units with another introvert. VERDICT A terrific affirming treatise on the many gifts an introvert brings to a relationship and how best to let them glow.

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