How to be a Husband

May 4, 2015
In this witty collection, Dowling, a London resident and columnist for the Guardian, offers wry observations on marriage and fatherhood that are sure to resonate with readers on both sides of the pond. Drawing on over 20 years as a husband, Dowling opens with his courtship of his wife-to-be ("When we met... we had no shared interests beyond smoking and drinking") and their wedding, and then goes beyond to offer a series of anecdotes, tales, and observations. A gifted storyteller, he is quick to point out his own foibles during shared adventures such as running out of money mid-honeymoon ("I'll be back," his wife says as she dashes to the bank, "don't eat anything") as well as the everyday drama of life with three kids in tow. Topics include advice for successful arguing (he's a big fan of the "whatever" response, since "everybody walks away with something"), how to handle manly duties such as home repair ("you cannot make the problem worse; you can only move it forward to a stage where professional intervention becomes urgently advisable"), as well as unspoken rules (such as the freedom to steal small amounts of money from each other). This lighthearted romp through married life will have many readers nodding in recognition.

December 1, 2014
One man's humorous tips on navigating the complex marriage highway.As columnist for the Guardian, Dowling (The Giles Wareing Haters' Club, 2007, etc.) is used to discussing his personal relationships with a public audience. In this laugh-out-loud memoir, he goes in depth in to the 10 years between bachelorhood and fatherhood. From navigating the rocky shores of two continents to be with the woman he loved to the decision to get married, with the caveat they could always get divorced, to the unexpectedness of seeing his firstborn son and the ensuing years of parenthood, Dowling delivers a running commentary on how he stumbled and bumbled his way through it all and somehow achieved a stable and successful union. He also remarks on living with his in-laws and the complicated issues surrounding death. Although not a self-help book, nuggets of unexpected, useful advice on how to be a good husband can be found hidden in the author's witticisms. When doing a comparison on relevancy between husbands of 1950 versus 2014, he observes, "Being a good husband: 1950-Every time you go out for cigarettes, you come back. Being a relevant husband: 2014-Every time you're sent out for espresso pods and tampons, you come back with the right sort." This is sound guidance from a man who has spent much of his time multitasking as a househusband and freelance writer. Multiple lists of helpful advice cover topics such as the necessary items for a DIY tool cupboard (epoxy resin is No. 1), "five things you can actually fix by hitting them with a hammer" and 40 tips on achieving "gross marital happiness" based on the country of Bhutan's goal of Gross National Happiness for every individual. Dowling's entertaining commentary on marriage will resonate with men and women alike. Tongue-in-cheek observations on married life coupled with poignant moments of true love and grief.

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February 1, 2015

This book defies easy categorization. In it, Dowling, who writes a popular column for the British newspaper The Guardian, has collected his scattered musings on the role of the human male in modern marriage and molded them into something akin to a memoir. But because the author has chosen to hew roughly to the conventions of a self-help book to cement the mosaic together, the material is long on his personal philosophies and short on narrative. Dowling's humor is dry, self-deprecating, and ironic in the extreme, and his vignettes are absent entirely of warm, fuzzy moments. Unfortunately, his style at times demands patience from the reader; he has a penchant for explaining his tongue-in-cheek theories at a length that borders on tedious. Despite this tendency, Dowling's deadpan delivery, arresting metaphors, and blunt dissection of events for which a more reverential tone is usually held (e.g., marriage proposals, childbirth) are truly funny. VERDICT This title will appeal to middle-aged men who possess a strong sense of irony, and to their partners and wives. It combines prescient and inarguably masculine insights on matrimony with tips that--although intended to be comical--are quite practical (see "The Beginner's Essential DIY Tool Cupboard"). Readers who tolerate (or enjoy) the author's wordiness will be rewarded with a fair measure of knowing chuckles and the occasional, actual laugh; those who've yet to cohabit or reproduce may even learn something. [See Prepub Alert, 8/4/14.]--Chris Wieman, Univ. of the Sciences Libs., Philadelphia

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