If Someone Says "You Complete Me," RUN!

October 12, 2015
Goldberg, performer and cohost of the talk show The View, shares her wisdom on love and relationships in this no-nonsense guide to personal fulfillment. She denounces the false expectations engendered by popular music, films, fairy tales, and even Viagra commercials that depict an unachievable romantic ideal, imploring readers to "get your heads out of your butts." The title, originally a line from the 1996 film Jerry Maguire, refers to Goldberg's recommendation to have a full life and a complete identity that's wholly your own, for as Goldberg notes sagely, "If they complete you, they can deconstruct you as well." A chapter on "red flags" advises readers on bad behaviors to watch out for, issued along with the all-important and easily forgettable proclamation that "you can't change him." Goldberg's views on sex in and outside of relationships, particularly for older people, are progressive, sensitive, and spot-on. In between chapters, a running column called "Ask Whoopi" deals with specific relationship queries posed to the author over social media. Workbook exercises encourage readers to articulate their desire. This is a funny, conversational (at times rambling), and occasionally profane take on modern romance from a legendary humorist, and is an entertaining if not entirely necessary addition to the canon.

Goldberg (Whoopi Goldberg Book, 1997, etc.) offers unvarnished advice on relationships. Based on her years of experience in a variety of relationships, the author, currently the moderator of The View, suggests ideas on interpersonal bonds that she wishes someone had suggested to her years ago. Her hope is that readers won't make the same mistakes she did or have to learn the hard way why a relationship is not working. Her manner is frank and mostly funny, and Goldberg rarely holds back. Popular culture, she writes, consistently portrays an unrealistic picture of what a "normal" bond between two people should be, which sets up everyone for major disappointment. That sweet Cinderella dream of Prince Charming sweeping you off your feet to a life of happily ever after]it's not going to happen. No one can complete you, writes Goldberg, if you're not already solid and complete in yourself. The author offers advice for those stuck in dead-end situations, for those who just want no-strings-attached sex (as well as what to do when the sex has stopped but the relationship is worth saving), and for those whose partners have strayed into affairs or have been unfaithful all along. Through occasionally profane humor, Goldberg reminds readers that you can't change the person you're with and should never get into a relationship thinking that you can, that you should be aware of any red flags before you say "I do," that the kids always come first, and that any major lies usually come back around in the end. Goldberg's writing will appeal to women the most, but her counsel is geared toward both genders, all races, and all sexual orientations. Though the author is honest and usually spot-on, the narrative isn't much different from most standard self-help material. Witty in the classic Goldberg mold, but most of this is common-sense stuff that can be found in a variety of popular magazines. COPYRIGHT(1) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.