My Demon's Name is Ed

August 8, 2016
Teenage author Khalil debuts with a fictionalized version of her own battle with Ed, the personification of her eating disorder. Told entirely through diary entries, the novel begins after Danah’s eating disorder is well underway, as she attempts to wrest control of her life back from Ed and his constant criticisms. She often aims her anger and frustration at her family and resorts to secrecy to maintain her unhealthy compulsions, including demanding workouts and meticulously planned meals. Many novels that tackle eating disorders feature characters who strive to be thin, but Danah is obsessed with appearing fit and athletic, which highlights the body dysmorphia that accompanies many eating disorders: Danah is far from fit at her goal weight of 97.89 pounds. The diary entries—which include poems, meal and workout regimens, and recurring italicized commentary from Ed—are rigid and come across as scripted as opposed to genuine, which, coupled with the repetition of thoughts and outbursts, adversely affects the story’s pacing. But the immensity of Danah’s struggle certainly comes through in her deeply conflicted ruminations and inner debates. Ages 12–up.

A teen girl gives readers an intimate close-up of her eating disorder through her journal writing.This novel, based on Khalil's actual journal, begins when she's 14 and travels through four years of her agonizing struggle with anorexia nervosa. There is a tyrant in her head whom she has named Ed. His voice appears in italics as he tells Danah she's too fat, that she's lazy and weak. "Please understand," he wickedly reminds her, "I only want what is best." The grip Ed has on her is relentless and exhausting, as he insists on an obsessive daily exercise regimen, on calorie counting, and on menu planning. Even when her weight drops below 100 pounds and she begins an outpatient program, Danah keeps the presence of her demon a secret. After treatment, Ed's stranglehold lessens, but his strength returns and Danah surrenders once again. Danah describes her outrage at the ubiquitous triggers: media, magazines, even well-meaning parents who cautioned her against carbs. Her voice is authentic and visceral. The journal entries are sprinkled with poems, often haiku, and fold in helpful resources, including a short list of topical books and symptoms of eating disorders. The roller coaster of emotions and weight fluctuations becomes repetitious, but the gut-wrenching reality of Danah's situation is unforgettably powerful. This brave revelation is a young anorexic's heart laid bare. (Fiction. 12-17) COPYRIGHT(1) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

September 1, 2016

Gr 9 Up-Khalil chronicles her personal journey of conquering an eating disorder in her autobiographical debut. Using her own journal entries, the author starts with Danah at 14 years old, developing unhealthy eating and overexercising habits. Listening to the demon voice in her head named Ed, she begins to lose all sense of reality and faith in herself. Eventually, the teen is taken to a treatment program at a hospital after family and friends notice a change in her appearance. Wanting to be rid of the disorder, she is able to get on the right track by writing a food and exercise log. However, Ed still lingers in her mind and thrives on weakening Danah's self-esteem. Readers will identify with the protagonist as she struggles to free herself from her eating disorder. The terrifying aspect of the novel is when Ed, whose narration is indicated with an italic font, constantly places negative thoughts into Danah's head and causes her to draw back from reaching her own goals. Though the ending is very abrupt, teens will feel compassion for Danah as she tries to defeat the disorder and Ed. VERDICT A realistic and dramatic work that will resonate with young adults; pair with Laurie Halse Anderson's Wintergirls.-Adrienne Sayban, Peoria Public Library, AZ

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