Swim the Fly

Starred review from April 20, 2009
Screenwriter Calame debuts as a novelist by perfectly channeling the adolescent male mindset. Matt, Cooper and Sean, swim teammates since third grade, hold the local record for the “largest collection of green fifth-place ribbons.” In addition to hanging out poolside, each summer they choose a project. This year, Coop, 15, announces their objective will be to see a girl naked. Since none even has a girlfriend, deviant hijinks ensue, including some (dressing in drag to sneak into the girls' bathroom) that strain credibility. Meanwhile, narrator Matt sets an even more unattainable goal—volunteering to swim the grueling 100-yard butterfly to impress the team's star backstroker, “smokin' hot” Kelly West. (Coop points out the flaw in Matt's plan: “I'm sure Kelly finds the sight of a scrawny, pasty white dude flopping around in the water like a spastic salmon very hot.”) The boys' pursuits make for a hilarious, if raunchy, what-I-did-last-summer narrative, supported by a cast of memorable adults, including a take-no-prisoners swim coach and Matt's grandfather, who is on a parallel romantic journey. This one will spread like athlete's foot in a locker room. Ages 14–up.

April 1, 2009
Gr 8-10-Matt Gratton, 15, and his friends Sean and Coop challenge themselves with a summer goal to view a naked girl. Although a difficult aim for three nerdy guys, it is nothing compared to Matt's trying to impress Kelly, the girl of his dreams, by volunteering for the nearly impossible 100-yard butterfly at a local swim-team competition. To satisfy their goal, the boys dress up as females and try to sneak into the girls' locker room at the community center. The plan is foiled when Matt has a sudden, outlandish bowel movement. Another time, he sneaks into a country-club pool to practice and meets Ulf, a swim instructor who forces Matt to take his torturous class. Additional incidents stretch belief; others edge on disturbing. Sean and Coop try to peep at Kelly and her friend Valerie in a dressing room, and Coop slices the swim suit of the disliked major contender in the butterfly competition so it tears off in public and Matt ultimately wins. Vomiting and other raunchy episodes and comments throughout have mixed results. Nevertheless, the book holds interest, largely due to Matt's fumbling attempts, at last, at standing up for what's right, the well-portrayed twist that Valerie is the perfect match for him, and his grandfather's quirkiness. Teens looking for realistic guy humor will find amusement here, but a better choice is Steven Goldman's "Two Parties, One Tux, and a Very Short Film About" The Grapes of Wrath (Bloomsbury, 2008)."Diane P. Tuccillo, Fort Collins Regional Library District, CO"

Copyright 2009 School Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

March 15, 2009
Grades 9-12 Calame has a screenwriting background, and it showshis hilarious debut resembles nothing so much as the crude-yet-insightful comedies of producer Judd Apatow. See if this rings a bell: three 15-year-old buddies make a pact to see a naked girl before the summer is over and in the process mire themselves in increasing trouble and constant humiliation. All three are on the summer swim team, and, in a desperate attempt to impress the superhot new girl, Matt agrees to swim the dreaded butterfly at championships, despite the fact that he can barely tread water. At the same time, hes dealing with his horny grandpa, a sadistic swim instructor, and his palswacky schemes to catch a glimpse of bare skin, which includes dressing up like girls and entering a womens locker room. That wouldve worked if it werent for the accidental dose of laxative . . . well, you get the idea. Although Calame underuses his moments of poignancy, teen readers will have a blast puzzling out the creative vulgarisms. Pants hamster is just the beginning.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2009, American Library Association.)