If I Was Your Girl

Starred review from March 7, 2016
In an illuminating debut guided by hope and overwhelming kindness, Russo demonstrates the challenges teens face in finding “the truest version” of themselves. Though she was born Andrew Hardy, Amanda always knew she was meant to be a girl. After enduring classroom bullies and her father’s admonishments to toughen up, Amanda moves to Atlanta with her mother for a long, difficult physical transition. Afterward, Amanda returns to her father and a new town in Tennessee, eager to finish high school and move to a big city. Amanda wishes to go unnoticed, but her beauty attracts friends and potential boyfriends. The more she begins to feel like “a normal teenage girl,” the more she becomes aware of the secrets those around her keep—secrets that, like hers, have the power to both destroy and liberate. Shifting between Amanda’s past and present, Russo gently examines the emotional journey of one trans teen, covering acceptable language, gender expectations, and the politics of going “stealth.” Though the Southern setting and religious undertones aren’t free of stereotypes, they serve as a sounding board for larger issues of identity and orientation. Ages 13–up. Agent: Sara Shandler and Joelle Hobeika, Alloy Entertainment.

Eighteen-year-old Andrew has felt like a girl trapped in a boy's body as long as he can remember. Narrator Samia Mounts recounts his painful flashbacks of severe bullying, vicious attacks, and a suicide attempt. Mounts eloquently depicts the changes that take place after Andrew's surgery--when he becomes Amanda. Amanda is timid and uncertain but hopeful as she begins a new life with her formerly estranged father in a small Tennessee town. Mounts expresses the delight Amanda feels as girlfriends accept her and gentle, thoughtful Grant falls in love with her. Mounts provides a bittersweet tone as Amanda blossoms with the tender feelings of first love even as she fears revealing her secret. Her feelings are juxtaposed with her father's fear for her safety amid the narrow-mindedness of the small Southern town where they live, which Mounts suggests through the judicious use of regional accents. S.W. Winner of AudioFile Earphones Award © AudioFile 2016, Portland, Maine