We Are the Perfect Girl

March 4, 2019
In a clever retelling of Cyrano de Bergerac, Kaplan (We Regret to Inform You) introduces best friends with opposing personalities who face challenges of the heart. If combined, high school junior Bethany’s beauty and Aphra’s smarts and gift of gab would make the “perfect girl.” Separately, though, their self-worth suffers. Bethany gets tongue-tied around everyone except Aphra; Aphra is all too aware of what she perceives as her oversize nose. Problems begin when Bethany sets her sights on attracting handsome Greg, Aphra’s longtime crush. Putting aside her jealousy to be a good friend, Aphra helps get the two together. When an advice app that Aphra designed malfunctions, she answers teens’ questions herself instead of letting the app generate answers. And when Greg sends in questions, mistaking Aphra for his girlfriend, she goes along with it, dazzling him with her wit and advice. After their conversations grow too intimate, though, disaster strikes. Told from Aphra’s point of view, this romance offers equal amounts amusement and relatable teen challenges, among them sibling resentment, self-esteem, and codependency, shown through realistically flawed characters. Ages 12–up. Agent: Hannah Bowman, Liza Dawson Associates.

March 15, 2019
Kaplan (We Regret to Inform You, 2018, etc.) returns with another modern retelling of a classic as three teens grapple with love à la Cyrano de Bergerac.Ever since they were 8-years-old, Aphra, born with bravado and a mouth that won't quit, has always looked out for her meek BFF, Bethany, who rarely opens up in public. It's clear, though, that Bethany likes hot, athletic, all-around nice guy Greg. It's also clear to Aphra that her large nose can't compete with Bethany's gorgeous body, and for once, she keeps her mouth shut about also liking Greg. In Aphra's snarky yet thought-provoking first-person narrative, an advice app she creates for her computer science class further complicates her dilemma when the AI technology doesn't work as planned. Posing as the computer, the teen finds herself doling out advice to fellow students, especially Greg. But when Greg incorrectly believes Bethany is behind the app, Aphra decides that if she can't be Greg's girlfriend, she'll help Bethany attain this coveted position. More than a clever technological twist on the original, Kaplan's version raises awareness of female body image: Aphra's discovery about the subjectivity of beauty is at once painful and heartfelt. Greek, Latin, Russian, and other literary references and wordplay will engage sophisticated readers. Aphra and Bethany are white, Greg is Latinx, and there is additional ethnic diversity in secondary characters.A smart and honest look at female beauty, with plenty of panache to boot. (Fiction. 14-18)

COPYRIGHT(2019) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Starred review from April 15, 2019
Grades 9-12 *Starred Review* For someone who has traditionally done his best work behind the scenes, Cyrano de Bergerac is having quite a moment in the spotlight.Until recently, the most notable contemporary retelling of the 1897 play, in which an unattractive but witty man woos the love of his life on behalf of his handsome but shy friend, was Roxanne, the rom-com starring Steve Martin, Daryl Hannah, and a prosthetic nose. In the last few years, however, more than a few Cyrano updates have sprung up, and they're geared for teens. It's a concept that doesn't always work?in the age of catfishing, a Cyrano-style romance can be a little shaky on consent (see Netflix's Sierra Burgess Is a Loser). It works better when the story acknowledges that it's dark and stays there, as in Kat Spears' gritty Sway (2014). And it works when the narrative barely considers a romance at all.Such is the case with Kaplan's latest iteration of the Cyrano story, which is narrated by Aphra Brown, who has a smart mouth, a big nose, and a best friend she'd die for. To the casual observer, Bethany is Aphra's opposite: painfully shy where Aphra is vibrant and funny, and a stunning classic beauty where Aphra is, as some might put it, strong-featured. Bethany is head over heels for Greg D'Agostino, an admittedly great guy?Aphra once had a crush on him herself. But Bethany, of course, is too shy to ever do anything about it.This succeeds where other Cyrano narratives have failed, first, because Aphra doesn't intend to start catfishing Greg; when a class project goes horribly wrong, she pretends to be an advice-giving AI, and after he lets slip a few personal details, she realizes that the person who's been signing in for a few late-night chats is Greg. He figures out that the class-project AI is a real person fast enough, but when he gets the mistaken impression that the girl behind the curtain is Bethany and asks her out IRL, Aphra, unwilling to stand in the way of Bethany's happiness and not trusting that Greg would be thrilled to know it was her and not her beautiful friend, doesn't say a word. But Bethany, still shy, struggles to connect with Greg and is desperate for Aphra's help. And Aphra's keeping too many secrets.With a rising cultural fascination with the concept of catfishing (MTV, anyone?), perhaps it's not so surprising that the Cyrano story is getting a reboot. But We Are the Perfect Girl goes beyond the average reimagining by diving thoughtfully into what makes someone catfish in the first place.This is a funny book: Aphra has a dry, approachable wit, and Kaplan nails situational comedic timing. But it's important to note here that the humor is never at Aphra's expense. Unlike Steve Martin, Aphra doesn't need a comically gigantic fake nose. Aphra is a girl, and the world is hard enough on her?and her appearance?�already. Aphra and her sister, Delia, both inherited the same nose; it's considered aristocratic on their father, but Delia got herself a nose job the second she turned 18, and Aphra hasn't spoken to her since. Though she tries not to let it bother her, Aphra can't help but feel like her appearance is something she has to overcome and like love is something she has to earn because of it. She hides, first behind her AI and then behind Bethany's beauty?as Bethany herself hides behind Aphra's personality?because she's afraid that, on her own, she won't measure up.It's a key plot point in the original Cyrano de Bergerac: when Cyrano's on his deathbed, Roxane does come to the conclusion that she loves Cyrano for his wit and panache, despite how he looks. But for Aphra, a love like that wouldn't be enough. Though it takes her a long time to admit it,...