Modern Romance

May 4, 2015
Inspired by his own romantic woes, comedian Ansari teamed up with sociologist Klinenberg in 2013 to design and conduct a research project to better understand the dating game as it’s played today. This book collects the insights gleaned from a variety of research methods: focus groups in major cities around the world, crowdsourcing on the website Reddit. Ansari addresses the effects of technology on modern relationships with an amusing historical overview, beginning with the classified ads and video dating services of the 1980s and ’90s, before chronicling the rise of industry giants such as Match.com and Tinder. He also dives into the sociological theory at play, discussing
“the paradox of choice,” the differences between “companionate” and “soul mate” marriages, and a generational conversation spurred by a visit to a retirement community. The book is steeped in pop culture, featuring examples from the
popular Tumblr “Straight White Boys Texting,” sex columnist Dan Savage’s thoughts on open relationships, and Ansari’s personal dating maxim, hilariously dubbed “the Flo Rida Theory of Acquired Likability Through Repetition.” Despite Ansari’s insistence otherwise, most of this material has been covered exhaustively elsewhere, but Ansari’s oddball sense of humor does bring something new and refreshing to the conversation. Agent: Richard Abate, 3Arts Entertainment.

June 1, 2015
The ever hip and funny comedian and Parks and Recreation star embarks on a surprisingly insightful exploration of the complex realities of dating today. Long before Ansari was born to his Tamil parents, people got together and married the least offensive prospect in the neighborhood. Sometimes, they looked no further than their own apartment building. Over time, and if they were lucky, they managed to form an enduring bond that grew into something a lot like love. It was crazy by today's contemporary Western standards, but Ansari's incredulousness with this anachronistic state of affairs is tempered with such a high level of earnest intelligence and compassion that he immediately establishes himself as a serious investigator. The author has plenty of jokes, for sure, but he also did his homework, teaming up with noted sociologists-including co-author Klinenberg (Sociology/New York Univ.; Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone, 2012, etc.)-assembling focus groups, and even comprehensively exploring the idiosyncratic dating cultures of Tokyo, Paris, and Buenos Aires. Ansari also examines real-time text exchanges between singles in the United States. Is there anything more anxiety-inducing than waiting for a potential partner to return a text? Has texting become the last refuge for weak-kneed dopes too afraid to dial a woman directly? Increasingly sophisticated smartphones and dating apps provide today's singles with options their 20th-century counterparts could never have imagined. However, as Ansari cleverly demonstrates, those marvelous advances create their own unique headaches, as unlimited choices can leave the lovelorn paralyzed. Ansari's eminently readable book is successful, in part, because it not only lays out the history, evolution, and pitfalls of dating, it also offers sound advice on how to actually win today's constantly shifting game of love. Often hilarious, consistently informative, and unusually helpful.

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June 1, 2015
Stand-up comedian Ansari has some interesting things to say about dating in our technology-saturated age. It is reasonable for readers to expect a narrative peppered with humorous snark and mock outrage (and his timing in this regard is quite good), but he has actually conducted considerable research and consulted with experts, pursuits that elevate his book above the typical lightweight comedic venture to an exceedingly relevant exploration of romance in our texting, online-dating, smartphone-driven society. Ansari's jokes, often drawn from real-life experiences, complement his in-depth look at the overload of information singles struggle through when seeking a soul mate. Texts are rife with overanalysis, a blind date means hours of Google searches, and dating web sites leave users wondering if there's someone better around the next virtual corner. Like so many other aspects of twenty-first-century life, dating has become a lot of work. Ansari's main takeaway: just go out on a date! The romantic landscape may have changed, but a good date still matters. An investigation full of valuable advice, and a lot of fun to boot.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2015, American Library Association.)