The Me, Me, Me Epidemic

May 18, 2015
Parenting expert McCready (If I Have to Tell You One More Time) has noticed a disturbing trend: an “epidemic” of entitled children who are demanding and spoiled. Parents, she asserts, spend too much time appeasing these little monarchs, thus depleting the resilience, independence, and self-reliance that children need to become successful, happy adults. McCready has packed her text with helpful tools (“Un-Entitlers”), beginning with “Mind, Body, and Soul Time” (MBST), which she says will turn negative behavior and feelings of entitlement around. The practice requires each parent to spend 10 minutes a day giving each child complete, undivided attention (for young children, twice daily). Children, according to her, have one essential psychological need: a sense of significance and belonging. MBST will fill a child’s “attention basket,” giving him or her little reason to act out. In ensuing chapters, McCready covers a wealth of other suggestions for helping kids become un-entitled, along with scripts parents can use and ideas for various ages from preschool to teen. This user-friendly guide is overflowing with practical, creative, and thoughtful strategies.

May 15, 2015
A guide to stopping the helicoptering, lawn-mowing, and overindulging that can lead to entitled, self-centered thinking in children. Everybody knows one or is one: the helicopter parent, always hovering around the children, making sure nothing bad happens; and the lawn mower parent, charging into the principal's office to "mow down" the drama teacher that cast their child in a mere supporting role. Not to mention the "fiddle," as in "played like a," when the child knows just when to turn on the whining or the tears. For decades, parents have heard about the crucial importance of a child's self-esteem, but Today parenting contributor McCready (If I Have to Tell You One More Time...: The Revolutionary Program that Gets Your Kids To Listen Without Nagging, Reminding, or Yelling, 2011), founder of Positive Parenting Solutions, argues that we are overindulging our kids by never saying never. In overprotecting them, we do them a disservice, denying them the chance to learn the valuable lessons that risk and losing can teach. When we effusively praise every utterance, every mundane task not bungled completely, we teach them that a minimum of effort should be required for success. McCready shares the simple truths about these overparenting mistakes in a clear, nonjudgmental way, and she shows how to shift the focus to a child's effort, how to motivate change, and how to work with consequences that teach a lesson. Ranging from the different approaches regarding allowances to social media and technology guidelines to a comprehensive guide to chores, the author packs in a remarkable wealth of information. She acknowledges the strengths of a parent who wants the best for their children while hearing different views on "what's best" from the culture, from extended family, and from "what the best friend's parents are doing." McCready sorts out the sensible from the nonsense. Given the competing noise about parenting, this book should be required reading for parents.

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August 1, 2015

Parenting coach McCready (Positive Parenting Solutions) feels we are in the midst of an "entitlement epidemic," resulting in narcissistic attitudes in kids of all ages. These brat-like behaviors won't get kids very far in life, so McCready comes through with a wealth of tools and sample dialog to guide parents in raising more self-sufficient and capable youth who will "learn to pitch in around the house, solve their disagreements respectfully, take responsibility for their actions and even put down their smartphones once in a while." From giving in to overcontrolling to "dishing out empty praise and lavish rewards" for expected behaviors, McCready's advice redirects parents into "creating a consequential environment" and producing "reasonable" (not great) expectations. VERDICT Whether using her tools for the first time with the youngest set or curbing the preteen already in the throes of entitlement, parents applying McCready's practical methods will get the information they need to convert a tyrant into a responsible and enthusiastic citizen.

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