On Living

Starred review from August 8, 2016
In her sophomore outing, Egan (Fumbling: A Journey of Love, Adventure and Renewal on the Camino de Santiago) masters the art of imparting critical life advice without coming off as preachy—a difficult feat. The author, a graduate of the Harvard Divinity School, works as an end-of-life chaplain—a profession sometimes belittled by others (a woman at her book club asks her, “You consider this work?”), yet helpful to those who need a healing catharsis in the limited time left to them, such as a mother who bore her son out of wedlock and lied to him about the identity of his father, and a father who blames himself for his four-year-old son’s death from meningitis. Egan is no stranger to sorrow herself, having experienced a psychotic break when doctors used ketamine during her emergency C-section, after her epidural anesthesia failed. Most of all, Egan’s empathetic tone is a comfort for both the healthy and the dying—whom, she opines, are not polar opposites. “People don’t somehow transform drastically into something else when they’re dying,” she says. “They’re just doing something you haven’t done yet.” Egan also counsels that things are never as they appear, that there are layers to every decision, good and bad. As the title suggests, this is not just a book about dying. It’s one that will inspire readers to make the most of every day.

Lessons about life from those preparing to die.A longtime hospice chaplain, Egan (Fumbling: A Pilgrimage Tale of Love, Grief, and Spiritual Renewal on the Camino de Santiago, 2004) shares what she has learned through the stories of those nearing death. She notices that for every life, there are shared stories of heartbreak, pain, guilt, fear, and regret. "Every one of us will go through things that destroy our inner compass and pull meaning out from under us," she writes. "Everyone who does not die young will go through some sort of spiritual crisis." The author is also straightforward in noting that through her experiences with the brokenness of others, and in trying to assist in that brokenness, she has found healing for herself. Several years ago, during a C-section, Egan suffered a bad reaction to the anesthesia, leading to months of psychotic disorders and years of recovery. The experience left her with tremendous emotional pain and latent feelings of shame, regret, and anger. However, with each patient she helped, the author found herself better understanding her own past. Despite her role as a chaplain, Egan notes that she rarely discussed God or religious subjects with her patients. Mainly, when people could talk at all, they discussed their families, "because that is how we talk about God. That is how we talk about the meaning of our lives." It is through families, Egan began to realize, that "we find meaning, and this is where our purpose becomes clear." The author's anecdotes are often thought-provoking combinations of sublime humor and tragic pathos. She is not afraid to point out times where she made mistakes, even downright failures, in the course of her work. However, the nature of her work means "living in the gray," where right and wrong answers are often hard to identify. A moving, heartfelt account of a hospice veteran. COPYRIGHT(1) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

October 1, 2016
As a hospice chaplain, Egan (Fumbling, 2004) sometimes finds it hard to tell curious outsiders what exactly she does on a day-to-day basis. When asked whether she gets paid to simply sit in a room with a patient, it's hard for Egan to deny that's most of what she does: sitting beside and listening to those with very little time left. But Egan's readers won't be fooled by her modesty. Her job, listening to dying patients' last wishes, last hopes, and tearful regrets, is a hard one. In these conversations, as Egan shares here, there is rarely any spiritual advice. There is hardly any talk about religion, or mention of God altogether. Instead, patients focus their thoughts on their families, on the person they once were, and, of course, on dancing, and how they wish they'd done more of it. These shared moments provide powerful insight for the reader, and for Egan, too, allowing her to overcome a dark shame from her own past. In this quick read, Egan takes readers on an emotional journey through many unforgettable lives.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2016, American Library Association.)