The Self-Driven Child

November 20, 2017
Stixrud, a clinical neuropsychologist, and Johnson, coauthor of Conquering the SAT and founder of tutoring company PrepMatters, provide compassionate, well-supported suggestions and strategies for how parents can help their kids deal with ever-more-competitive academics and extracurriculars. By studying the levels of stress and motivation in children, the authors discovered that “a low sense of control is enormously stressful and that autonomy is the key to developing motivation.” Their book guides readers toward laying off the “helicopter” parenting so prevalent today and instead allowing their children the freedom to make their own decisions. Stixrud and Johnson theorize that a sense of control is the “antidote to stress,” touching on common stressors for American kids, such as social media, demanding homework, and lack of sleep. The real-life case studies peppered throughout give relevance to the authors’ viewpoint, and FAQs from parents (such as, in the sleep section, “How much sleep does my child need?”) add to the book’s usefulness. The authors make a highly persuasive case for how parents can help their children segue from feeling stressed and powerless to feeling loved, trusted, and supported. Agent: Howard Yoon, Gail Ross Literary Agency.

November 15, 2017
Why children need more control of their own lives and how to achieve it.Clinical neuropsychologist Stixrud (George Washington Univ. School of Medicine) and PrepMatters founder Johnson (co-author: Conquering the SAT: How Parents Can Help Teens Overcome the Pressure and Succeed, 2006, etc.) compile case histories that demonstrate the high levels of stress endured by children and teens as parents pressure them to do and be their best in order to succeed. The authors analyze why this stress is so damaging to the child and the parent and their relationship to one another, and they offer concrete solutions on how to give your child more control over his or her life. "A healthy sense of control...is associated with better physical health, less use of drugs and alcohol, and greater longevity," write the authors, "as well as with lower stress, positive emotional well-being, greater internal motivation and ability to control one's behavior, improved academic performance, and enhanced career success." Based on these findings, Stixrud and Johnson provide in-depth information on how to give your child more control without letting them run amok, discuss ways to reduce parents' stress levels, and emphasize the importance of physical exercise and sufficient sleep. They also discuss the need to step away from electronic devices and the stimulation they provide and discuss how to set up technology-free zones or times for everyone in the household. In each chapter, the authors address frequently asked questions and provide a bulleted action list to help parents initiate these practices right away without the need to read all the relevant data and case studies. The information is often common sense and similar to many other parenting books, but the authors present it in an accessible, occasionally lively way.Solid, timeless advice for parents who haven't read other books along these lines.

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