The Incurable Romantic

April 9, 2018
This thoughtful study from British psychologist and mystery novelist Tallis (Mephisto Waltz) comprises 11 tales from his own practice touching on a single theme: people who “have experienced significant distress attributable to falling in love or being in love.” He posits this as a neglected field in modern psychology. Tallis recalls that during the eight years he spent studying to become a clinical psychologist, only one hour was devoted to the subject, though love, which often involves delusions and obsessions, can sometimes seem a form of psychopathology. Perhaps the tales that best illustrate this are those of a married woman infatuated with her oral surgeon and convinced, against all evidence, that he reciprocates; of a successful businessman who approaches bankruptcy because of his hypersexuality (he estimates that he has been involved with 3,000 prostitutes); and of a guilt-ridden pedophile who struggles mightily to resist his attraction to the young daughter of a friend. Tallis has a graceful narrative style, easily incorporating brief digressions on deeper philosophical issues such as free will versus determinism. Most importantly, his book is suffused with compassion, avoiding facile categorization and struggling to understand and empathize with his patients as people in pain, often anguish, because of the love they feel.

July 1, 2018
A veteran clinical psychologist in the U.K. recounts some of his cases involving those tormented by Cupid, Eros, and all the other love gods who meddle in our affairs. In his latest, Tallis--who has published both novels (Mephisto Waltz, 2018, etc.) and works of nonfiction (Hidden Minds: A History of the Unconscious, 2012, etc.)--deals with an assortment of cases, ranging from a man devastated by a breakup to a pedophile to those suffering from unrequited love. Throughout, the author maintains an appealing self-deprecation. He regrets things he said (or didn't say); he realizes he's not being effective; he worries about the patients who left his care for various reasons. He also displays evidence of his wide reading, and not just in the literature of psychology. He alludes to such figures as Thomas Mann, Shakespeare, Goethe, and Agatha Christie. He also includes elements of his own biography: We learn about the breakup of his first marriage, his two sons (more than 20 years apart in age), and his education and experiences in a variety of clinical settings. But the patients' stories remain prominent as Tallis explores the physiology and the psychology of human love. He discusses Darwinian aspects of it, and he chronicles his observation of a human brain (do slivers of memory remain?). Mostly, the author reveals how difficult it is for us to deal with imperfect love--i.e., with virtual types of love. Doubt, jealousy, depression, guilt, regret, ebullience--all course through the narrative. We also see how reluctant we can be even to talk about these emotions and experiences. Tallis' patients--like the rest of us?--conceal and modify and even prevaricate as they tell their wrenching love stories.Moving, at times disturbing, and revealing--like having a productive, revelatory discussion with a trusted friend.

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August 1, 2018

Sometimes we laugh or ridicule lovesick individuals. But clinical psychologist Tallis (Love Sick) asks whether we are discrediting and rejecting our human condition in doing so? Speaking with clients, says Tallis, provides a holding space for their suffering and also a story-rich environment for those who listen. Tallis has seen love-seeking behaviors create chaos, insecurity, pain; taking people to the brink of sanity (or over its edge). Here, he translates his work with clients into accounts of anonymous individuals besotted by love, concluding that when people are in love, feel brokenhearted by rejection, or miss a loved one, strong and out-of-character behaviors and thoughts can manifest. After a brief preface introducing readers to the enduring place of lovesickness in our human history, Tallis paints vivid pictures of journeys into love. VERDICT Recommended for anyone who appreciates stories that delve into the psychological experience of love.--Jennifer M. Schlau, Elgin Community Coll., IL

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