Enough As She Is

December 18, 2017
Simmons (The Curse of the Good Girl), cofounder of the nonprofit Girls Leadership, tackles the “college application industrial complex,” perfectionism, defensive pessimism, and other factors that undermine teenage girls’ confidence and happiness. Young American women are more successful than ever, Simmons observes, but she warns that the “anything is possible” mentality has sparked a mental health crisis. Her guide awakens parents to the sources of their daughters’ stress by examining the insidious effects of social media, body shaming, competitive complaining, negative self-talk, and overthinking. She then shows how girls, with their parents’ help, can prioritize confidence and self-compassion along with achievement. Simmons acknowledges that parenting adolescent girls can be tough, and in one especially helpful section prescribes eight emotional-support strategies for moms and dads to share with daughters as they navigate this challenging phase together. In her role as a researcher and leadership specialist, Simmons encountered college-age girls from a range of backgrounds, and here uses their stories to complement her interviews with precollege adolescents. Her book persuasively demonstrates that girls can replace the toxic cultural imperative for “more” with their own vision of a fulfilled life. Agent: Gail Ross, Ross Yoon Agency.

January 1, 2018

According to Simmons (Odd Girl Out; The Curse of the Good Girl), founder of the nonprofit Girls Leadership, toxic messages about success and a burning drive to achieve no matter the cost have resulted in a 25 percent increase in already skyrocketing teen depression rates. The author describes how society pushes a "develop confidence" message to young women, which becomes code for yet another area to work on, in an era in which Supergirl is the baseline. At the same time, social media has contributed to teens disconnecting from parents and friendships, those relationships that are the most vital to their growth and resiliency. Meanwhile, parents themselves struggle with myths that tarnish their relationships with their teenager as they come up against a culture that advocates hyperattentive control of all aspects of their child's life. Here, Simmons interviews 96 girls from a variety of backgrounds to analyze the damaging messages they received ("what you accomplish matters more than what you learn," "everyone is doing better than you") and the often destructive results. She encourages strategies to help steady your daughter and propel her forward with new messages, while correcting harmful core beliefs along the way. VERDICT A fascinating read that provides ideas for combatting the "not enough" ideals that are devastating young girls.

Copyright 2018 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

December 15, 2017
Practical advice on raising well-adjusted girls.Today's girls, Simmons (Leadership Development Specialist/Smith Coll.; The Curse of the Good Girl: Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence, 2009, etc.) writes, are "glass ceiling-busting, selfie-taking world changers." However, as she notes, these same girls have higher levels of anxiety and self-criticism than any of their predecessors thanks to the numerous roles girls must play. They have the chance to be as successful and ambitious as their male peers, yet must also be "physically fit, pretty and sexy, socially active, athletic, and kind and liked by everyone." Depression and angst in young women are on the rise, a tide Simmons hopes to stop with her levelheaded and useful tips for parents. The author analyzes the way society and social media have created more tension for girls as they try to be everything for everyone, and she offers methods for diffusing tough situations. Simmons also addresses body imagery and body fat, the need to look as if you have a perfect life on social media, the objectification of women, handling disappointments and failures, and the drive to be highly athletic and involved in multiple extracurricular activities. Like most experts, she stresses the importance of unplugging, looking inward to find answers, using self-compassion, and setting realistic and obtainable goals in order to make changes. Though her solutions aren't groundbreaking, the author's accessible tone makes this a helpful tool for parents who need advice and want to help their girls become well-rounded women. The culture won't change until we properly discuss the many issues that create anxiety, depression, and pressure in girls; Simmons begins the conversation for parents, and it's up to them to continue it.Concrete, straightforward advice on helping girls move beyond the anxiety, depression, and angst that plague so many as they strive toward adulthood.

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March 1, 2018

According to Simmons (Odd Girl Out; The Curse of the Good Girl), founder of the nonprofit Girls Leadership, toxic messages about success and a burning drive to achieve no matter the cost have resulted in a 25 percent increase in already skyrocketing teen depression rates. The author describes how society pushes a "develop confidence" message to young women, which becomes code for yet another area to work on, in an era in which Supergirl is the baseline. At the same time, social media has contributed to teens disconnecting from parents and friendships-those relationships that are the most vital to their growth and resiliency. Meanwhile, parents themselves struggle with myths that tarnish their relationships with their teenager as they come up against a culture that advocates hyperattentive control of all aspects of their child's life. Here, Simmons interviews 96 girls from a variety of backgrounds to analyze the damaging messages they received ("what you accomplish matters more than what you learn," "everyone is doing better than you") and the often destructive results. She encourages strategies to help steady daughters and propel them forward with new messages, while correcting harmful core beliefs along the way. VERDICT A fascinating read that provides ideas for combatting the "not enough" ideals that are devastating young girls.-Julia M. Reffner, Richmond, VA

Copyright 2018 School Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.