Love and Anger

June 3, 1991
Drawing largely on issues raised in her Parent Guidance Workshops in Manhattan, Samalin ( Loving Your Child Is Not Enough ), writing with freelancer Whitney, emphasizes that anger is as normal a part of family life as is love. Today's parents, often encouraging freer expression of feelings within their own families than their own parents permitted, are frequently derailed by the rage their children--and they themselves--reveal. While stressing the universality of anger in open, close relationships, she examines various ways anger surfaces in families, discussing, for example, sibling rivalry, the problems of single parents, power struggles, problems of separation. Infants, toddlers and teenagers express--and evoke--anger in different ways. Samalin's anecdotal and down-to-earth approach, including a compassionate consideration of the fury that threatens to lead to abuse, aims at helping parents elicit acceptable expressions of anger within their homes. To this end, she offers flexible guidelines, such as delaying discussion until the heat of rage has passed and keeping focused on the issue of the moment rather than dredging up past incidents or making dire predictions. First serial to Family Circle, Redbook, Health and Parenting; author tour.